(In)Fidelity
by titaniaorion
Summary: When 17-year-old Titania Orion is recruited by Lucius Malfoy to join the ranks of the Death Eaters , she doesn't hesitate for a minute. She's always loved him, even though she knows she can't have him. But as her involvement with Lucius and the Death Eaters destroys her innocence, her family, and her sanity, she must decide with whom her loyalties truly lie. Lucius/OC. Snape/OC.
1. Chapter 1: Just Lunch

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except my OCs, including Titania Orion, Veruka Infinite, and their respective families. Everything else belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling. I have her to thank for inspiring me to write and providing such an amazing world in which to do so.**

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**Chapter One: Just Lunch**

_July 1, 1977_

Oh my god. So that just happened. I was still staring dumbstruck at the wooden beams on the ceiling when Lucius got out of bed and began to dress himself nonchalantly. _As if nothing unexpected or out of the ordinary or life-changing had happened_. And maybe for him it hadn't been any of those things.

I sat up, wincing, and noticed the bright red evidence between my legs that this _had _been a life changing experience. Whose stupid idea was it to always furnish hotel rooms with white sheets, anyway? I swung my legs over the side of the bed and quickly pulled the comforter over the stain. I couldn't help feeling somewhat ashamed by my inexperience.

My eyes landed upon the empty little table in the corner. No cups, no plates, no decorative vase. Nothing. No evidence that this was supposed to just have been a lunch date. There was only the flat wooden surface and two matching chairs pushed in just so.

I suppose I should back up and explain just how I ended up here. And by "here" I mean in bed with Lucius Malfoy.

It all started yesterday, when I arrived home from King's Cross Station after my final day of my sixth year at Hogwarts. A note was waiting for me on my bed, addressed to me in neat, calligraphic handwriting. _A note from none other than Lucius Malfoy_. My heart skipped a beat. Actually, I'm pretty sure it just momentarily stopped altogether.

Hell, who am I kidding? This story doesn't start with me receiving the note; it starts about a decade earlier, when I first fell in love with Lucius Malfoy. I'd been completely infatuated with him since before I even had any concept of what that word meant.

My father, Leopold Orion, was close friends with Abraxas Malfoy, and our respective families had grown up together. Lucius and I had never exactly been close, as he was five years my senior, but he'd always been kind to me. He'd sought to include me in conversation during dinner, despite that my father was a believer in children being seen and not heard. I'd usually responded to Lucius acknowledging me by spilling my peas or putting my elbow in the butter dish. God, I was smooth as a six-year-old.

When I'd finally joined him at Hogwarts, he'd made sure I quickly became a part of the Slytherin house family. He'd welcomed me at the feast and introduced me to his fellow sixth years. He'd never failed to greet me in the common room or offer me help with my studies. I was abysmal at Charms (actually, that hasn't changed), but Lucius had helped me to hone my skills to a passable level. My desire to impress him always conflicted with the desire to let my poor performance persist just so I could continue to ask him for help. Ultimately though, these friendly encounters were the extent of our relationship.

But it was enough for me to fall in love with him. And I wasn't the only one; pretty much every girl in Slytherin was completely enamored with Lucius Malfoy. I felt flattered that he would even give me the time of day, much less help with my coursework.

So imagine my surprise to find that after not having seen each other in four years he'd written to me asking me to lunch. _I had a date with Lucius Malfoy_! Or something like that. I was shocked that he even remembered me after such a hiatus, much less wanted to see me again. I can't imagine my starry-eyed prepubescent self having made a lasting impression on him, but what can I say?

I barely slept that night, and the next morning, I agonized over selecting a flattering set of robes, trying to tame my frizzy-straight hair into submission, and smearing on my signature thick eyeliner to perfection.

"Where are you off to?" my mother, Bernice, asked, surveying my appearance as I made my way to the front door.

"Oh, Lucius Malfoy invited me to lunch in Diagon Alley. I should be back in a few hours, I'm guessing."

"Well, have a good time," she said. "Tell Lucius I say hello. It's nice that you two have kept in touch."

"Will do," I said, eager to leave. I could hardly contain my giddiness.

I Apparated to Diagon Alley once I reached the end of my front walk, loving my newfound liberty to do so. I was supposed to meet Lucius at the Leaky Cauldron. Not my first choice for a date, but then again, I wasn't even certain that that's what this _was_. But why else would he write to me and ask me to lunch?

Lucius's sleek blond hair was instantly visible the moment I walked in. His eyebrows raised subtly at the sight of me; I'd done everything I could to make it obvious that I _wasn't _the kid he used to know. Clearly, he'd noticed.

I grinned at him and met him at the bar. He rose to greet me.

"Hello, Miss Orion," he said, kissing my hand; he'd always possessed a slightly antiquated etiquette.

"Lucius," I said, unable to control myself from blushing. "It's good to see you again."

He surveyed my appearance just as my mother had done earlier, and the glint in his gray eyes told me that he liked what he saw. He drew his gaze away from my chest and surveyed the room with a bored expression.

"I can't say I'm too fond of the current crowd in here; it's a bit loud, don't you think?"

"Er…"

"I'm staying in one of the rooms upstairs. It's fully furnished with a little table and fireplace; why don't we have something brought up? It would give us a better chance to catch up."

I stuttered. "Of - of course. Whatever you'd like."

"Splendid."

He led the way upstairs, withdrawing a key from his pocket and unlocking the room at the end of the hall.

"We should have placed an order on our way up here," I said, eyeing the empty table and chairs in the corner.

Lucius ignored my comment and shut the door. He looked me over lasciviously.

"You've really grown into quite a beautiful young woman, Titania."

"Oh, well, thank you," I stammered. _And you're still as gorgeous as ever,_ I thought. What was I supposed to say to that?

He took a step closer to me. My heart raced. What was going on? I couldn't have even dreamed something like this would happen. I didn't know what to do!

"Lucius…what are you -"

But I didn't care what he was doing, and I certainly wasn't going to stop him. He pressed his lips to my mine forcefully. _My god_!

I was too shocked to even think about what was happening. I'd only ever been kissed once, and it was a sloppy spring night a couple months back when a group of seventh years smuggled bottles of firewhiskey into the common room. But I don't talk about that.

It all escalated quite rapidly from there. I was so woefully naive when it came to intimacy, but I didn't want to admit that to Lucius - or ask him to stop. Should I warn him that I was still a virgin? I was losing that opportunity _very_ quickly.

My god, I'd never been touched like this before; I didn't know how to respond, but my body seemed to be reacting intuitively enough. Should I ask him to stop? Did I even _want_ to?

And, then, I lost all chance of turning back. It was all I could do not to scream in pain. So this was what it was like, losing your virginity…it was _horrible. _Lucius must have taken my gasps, my nails in his back, as signs of pleasure, because he didn't stop. I could have said something, but I didn't want to ruin this. I was getting fucked by Lucius Malfoy after all. Hadn't I always dreamed of this?

"I want you to finish first," he whispered.

_Finish?_ It was a nice gesture, but in all honesty I was in so much pain I just wanted to be finished with this. So I let out a cry of pain that could easily be mistaken for one of pleasure.

And then it was over, which brings me back to where I started. _In bed with Lucius Malfoy_.


	2. Chapter 2: Good Bad News

**Disclaimer: The Harry Potter characters and settings all belong to J.K. Rowling. Titania Orion and my other OCs belong to me. **

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**Chapter Two: Good Bad News**

"Lunch?" Lucius asked casually.

Lunch. Right. That's what we were supposed to have been doing all along. I just stared at him, bewildered, for a moment before stepping into my robes.

He merely smirked.

"We can still order room service," Lucius suggested.

I nodded. Good. I didn't want to go out there. First of all, walking sucked. Second of all, I was still completely dazed. Had Lucius really wanted me all this time?

Lucius sat down at the table and motioned for me to join him. I had no idea what to say. Was there a proper dialogue we were supposed to follow in this circumstance? Was I supposed to, I don't know, thank him for being my first? The last thing I wanted to do was embarrass myself in front of Lucius Malfoy.

But appropriate conversation had never exactly been my forte. It was as if my brain didn't come equipped with any sort of filter system. So, whether proper or not, I simply told him exactly what was on my mind.

"I guess I'd always dreamed you'd be my first," I admitted.

"Excuse me?" he spat.

"I'm a virgin…er, _was_."

"Good lord, Titania; why didn't you _say_ something?" he asked in alarm.

"I don't know," I said. "It doesn't mean I didn't want it."

Now Lucius looked highly uncomfortable.

"I'm not upset," I clarified.

Why did he seem to think I was? Any girl I knew would have given _anything_ to be in my situation! Didn't he know that?

"If I'd have known…" Lucius began. He looked embarrassed. I'd never seen him wear that expression before. "I could have been more gentle."

"Next time, then," I said with a smile. There would be a next time, wouldn't there? I wouldn't have let this happen if I'd thought this was it.

"Of course," he said. "Now, if you'll excuse me for a moment, I'm going to put in an order for our lunch."

"Sure," I said.

He swept from the room. I remained sitting at the little table, trying to decide whether or not - aside from the pain between my legs - I felt any different. I didn't know. How was I supposed to feel?

And what did this mean? Were Lucius and I going to be together now? That's what happened when you slept with someone, right? Didn't it mean he wanted to be with me? That had to have been the reason he'd invited me to lunch. Maybe he'd just been waiting all this time for me to come of age…

Lucius returned. "They'll have our food up soon."

"I can't believe this is happening," I said.

"What?" Lucius asked.

"All of this. I mean, I haven't talked to you in _years_. I'm surprised after all this time you wanted to, well, be with me…like this."

"I'll admit it wasn't exactly - ah - premeditated. But, good lord, Titania! What has happened to you?" He stared at the considerable cleavage I'd developed since my early adolescence.

"Er…I hit puberty since you last saw me, I guess," I replied awkwardly.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Lucius called.

Our lunch had arrived. We paused the conversation as our entrees and a bottle of wine were set on the table before us. Lucius poured us each a glass.

"Well, as I mentioned earlier, you've grown into quite the young woman. I suppose you caught me a bit off guard."

I smiled in response.

"I'm not just a kid anymore," I said unnecessarily.

"Clearly. How have you been all these years, Titania?"

"Good, I mean, not much has changed since you graduated. I'm still in with the same little group of Slytherins - Avery; Selwyn's little sister, Mira; and Severus Snape mostly. Still failing Charms…still can't fly a broom to save my fucking life."

"Titania, where did you learn such language? It's not very becoming on you," Lucius said sternly.

"Oh. That would be Avery's influence, sorry."

"And I'm sorry to hear my mentoring never paid off," Lucius said flatly.

"I mean, I'm not _technically_ failing Charms. But passing is a struggle. You can't be good at everything. Er, well, clearly you can. _I _can't. But, er…"

I was rambling now. Lucius raised an eyebrow at me in amusement.

"Maybe you really haven't changed much," Lucius said, almost fondly.

_But I have! _ I wanted to say. God, the last thing I wanted was for him to look at me like I was still that flustered, awkward little girl he used to know. I surreptitiously tugged down the front of my robes to try and draw his attention to how I _had_ changed.

He must have noticed my pouting at his comment.

"I didn't mean for that to come across as an insult. I obviously saw something in you before, or I wouldn't be here now, would I?" he asked.

"I suppose not. Then why did you want to see me exactly, if not to - er…" I trailed off. _Fuck me_? _Date me? Be with me? _

"I simply wanted to catch up with an old family friend. I thought that since you were now of age, we might have more in common."

And I found we did. Though there wasn't much I could do to overcome my omnipresent awkwardness, by this point in the conversation, I had grown used to Lucius's company. I'll admit that the wine didn't hurt, either. We could finally talk like adults. However, I still sensed a profound disconnect between us, and while Lucius was ever so eager to hear about my mundane life as a Hogwarts student, he seemed reluctant to open up about his own activities since graduation. But I didn't press him; I didn't even know what to ask.

Finally, the wine was gone and our lunch had been consumed. We settled into a satiated but somewhat awkward silence: The four poster bed with its rumpled blankets stood like an erumpent in the room. Would we be seeing each other again - and in the same way we had today?

"Well, Titania, this afternoon has been lovely. I would rather like to see you again soon, perhaps the same time on Monday? We can meet here again if that's convenient for you," he suggested.

"I'd love to," I said, my heart seeming to function more loudly and slowly than usual.

"Now that we've had a chance to catch up, I have a few topics of a business nature I wish to discuss with you on our next visit. I may be able to offer you some guidance regarding your post-Hogwarts plans."

"Um, sure," I said, immediately deciding that my plans were whatever included Lucius Malfoy in my future.

"I have a busy weekend ahead of me so I won't likely be able to reply to any correspondence. I'll simply plan on seeing you downstairs on Monday at one o'clock," he instructed, his tone suddenly businesslike as he ushered me to the door.

I hovered with my hand on the doorknob but couldn't bring myself to leave. Should I kiss him? Was he supposed to kiss me?

"I'll see you Monday, darling," he said, and he kissed…my hand.

I awkwardly pulled my hand back from his and used it to tuck my hair behind my ears. "I look forward to it."

And with that, I gave him a proper kiss on the lips and left.

* * *

Thankful neither of my parents were in the sitting room when I arrived home, I bolted up the stairs and into my bedroom, where I collapsed upon my bed to process the afternoon's events. Until a few hours ago, beds had just been for sleeping. Had that really happened? The pain between my legs confirmed it had.

_Fuck_. I wasn't a virgin anymore. I really _had_ become an adult this year. And Lucius Malfoy had been my first! I felt like I'd slept with a celebrity or something. I thought about writing to my best friend at Hogwarts, Mira Selwyn, to tell her the exciting news, but part of me wanted to cherish this moment a little longer. It felt so surreal. How did I get so lucky?

And yet, a discomfort clawed at the pit of my stomach that had nothing to do with any physical sensation I'd experienced that afternoon. I wanted to be thrilled…and I was. But part of me had always hoped there would be more to it than that. I'd always imagined sex would be life-changing, magical beyond anything I could hope to learn at Hogwarts. That it would mean something.

Mean _what_? Maybe now that I was a "real" adult, it was time to shed my childhood notions that sex was anything more than just that: sex. But whatever it was or wasn't, and however painful or confusing or exciting it had been, _I wanted more_.

Two hesitant knocks on my bedroom door. My mother, Bernice.

"Come in," I called, doing my best to arrange my features into an impartial expression.

"Dinner will be ready soon," she announced as she opened the door.

A halo of frizz surrounded her dark, wavy hair; she'd clearly come from the heat of the kitchen. Though we were rather wealthy, my father had always been frugal. He, unlike the Malfoys with whom he was so close, had always sought to conceal rather than flaunt our wealth. He believed the Orion name was enough to command respect. His desire to live a modest lifestyle meant that we were one of the only pure-blood families not to own a House Elf. But I suppose it was of no inconvenience as my mother stayed at home. Besides, I'd always possessed a strong aversion to the nasty little elf-creatures.

"All right," I replied, sitting up and only at the last minute trying not to let the pain of movement show on my face.

"How was lunch?" she asked casually.

I'd never been as close as I wanted to be with my mother; conversations always tended to be stilted. It was nothing compared to my strained relationship with my father, however, to whom I was a disappointment from birth; he'd always wanted a boy.

"It was nice," I said. "It was good to catch up with Lucius. He was always so nice to me at Hogwarts."

"He is a lovely boy - young man, now, I suppose," my mother said. "How has he been? I haven't seen him since the wedding."

"He seems well!" I responded. And then I realized what my mother had just said. I looked up at her quizzically. "Wedding? Whose wedding?"

I could only assume she meant some mutual family friend. My mother mirrored my curious expression.

"His, of course," she replied, as if I were being foolish.

"Wh-wha-wha?" I stammered, unable to even fully form a single word. Then, "Of course!" I exclaimed, playing along. "I totally forgot about that since I didn't go."

_Since I didn't even fucking know about it_, is what I'd really wanted to say. I exhaled heavily. This charade was not going to last long. My mother stared at me with a look of increasing concern.

"Oooh," I moaned, standing abruptly and pressing my hand to my stomach. "Mother, I think I must have eaten something funny for lunch. I don't think I'll make it down for dinner tonight."

My mother blinked in confusion at my sudden illness. "Can I get you something, Titania?"

"No, no," I groaned, blinking rapidly to conceal burning tears rising like bile. "I'll be fine. Just go. I think I'm going to be sick."

Reluctantly, she obeyed, just as I collapsed shaking against my nightstand. I tried to take deep steadying breaths as if I had just emptied the contents of my stomach due to food poisoning, but the onslaught of tears nearly prevented me from breathing at all.

"Oh my god. _Oh my god!_" I cried, trying to keep my voice low enough so that my mother didn't return.

I sobbed against the wooden surface, the corner digging uncomfortably into my cheek. This couldn't be happening. I felt sick…so sick. And then, knowing it had nothing to do with my imaginary food poisoning, I vomited onto the hardwood floors. Thankful for my ability to do magic outside of school, I vanished the mess before sliding down my nightstand and crying into the rough fibers of my rug.

There had to be an explanation. He'd gotten divorced and my mother hadn't heard about it. His wife had died of a sudden tragic illness. Whom had he married, anyway? Was it Narcissa Black? They had always been inseparable at Hogwarts.

But what if neither of those scenarios were true, and Lucius was happily married? _Fuck. I fucked a married man_. So what if I'd been lucky enough to be in bed with Lucius Malfoy if I wasn't the only woman in it?


	3. Chapter 3: Unexpected Visitors

**Disclaimer: As usual, the wonderful world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I'm just enjoying exploring her world through my own writing. Titania and her family belong to me.**

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**Chapter Three: Unexpected Visitors**

I heard footsteps stop outside my bedroom door a little over an hour later, and presumed my parents had finished eating dinner. Still slumped miserably against my nightstand, inky eyeliner and mucus smeared all over my face and hands (I was one of those unfortunate nose-criers), I was in no mood to face either of my parents. Or anyone. Ever again. I produced some rather convincing barfing noises to discourage anyone from entering.

There was silence for a moment and then the footsteps faded away. I resumed my sobbing. Could I _be_ any more pathetic?

What was I supposed to do now? Just _not_ show up on Monday? Write a scathing letter to him - even though he'd already hinted that he wouldn't reply? Show up _now_ and accost him?

And because I'd never been one to properly think through the consequences of my actions, I chose Option C.

The sudden flame of anger that leapt inside me dried my tears. Sprinting across the hall and into the bathroom lest either of my parents catch me in my miserable state, I took a few moments to perform a cursory clean-up of my appearance. There wasn't much I could do to lessen the puffiness of my face or my bloodshot eyes, but I at least wasn't going anywhere with snot all over my sleeves.

My mother and father were both in the sitting room reading when I appeared downstairs, my father with a copy of _The Evening Prophet_ in hand and my mother perusing a novel. They both looked up as I entered.

"Feeling better?" my mother asked.

"Loads," I replied. "I think I just had to, er, get it all out of my system."

"Do you want something to eat?" she offered.

"I think I'm all right. Thanks, mum. I was actually going to…er…" I began, and realized I had no pretext for leaving the house again.

My father also looked up at me and arched a thick eyebrow expectantly. I'd never been one to venture about much in the summer, preferring to spend my time at home reading or practicing the art of Potion-making. It had always been my strongest subject at Hogwarts, and it frustrated me to no end that my friend Severus always managed to best me at it.

"Er…I'm meeting Mira Selwyn for drinks tonight. You know, now that I can legally Apparate I can have a social life in the summer."

"Well, you've certainly been quite the social butterfly today," my mother replied, studying me as though she didn't quite believe my excuse. I'd always been an awful liar. "I'm not sure it's wise for you to go out after a bout of food poisoning, however."

"I'll be fine. I brewed up something to ease my nausea," I lied, though as I said it, I realized what a good idea that would have been. "If I don't feel well later, I can Apparate home, no big deal."

"Don't stay out past midnight; that would be inappropriate behavior for a respectable young lady like you, Titania," my father said, returning his eyes to his newspaper.

Respectable. Right.

My mother sighed. "If it's all right with your father, it's all right with me."

"All right, well, I'll see you later then," I said, amazed I'd been able to keep my composure for that brief conversation with my parents. Anger was still tearing at my insides, and I was surprised it hadn't managed to force it's way out.

* * *

In seconds, I was back outside the Leaky Cauldron. I didn't even bother scanning the room for Lucius; instead, I marched straight upstairs, ignoring the barman's calls that I wasn't allowed up there unless I was accompanied by a paying guest. I sprinted to the end of the hall and began pounding on the door where Lucius had been staying earlier.

I had been knocking so determinedly on the door that I hardly noticed when it opened, and I nearly smashed the room's inhabitant in the face. A very confused and frightened-looking woman in her mid-forties wearing a disheveled robe answered the door. Oh my god, this could not be fucking happening right now. And she certainly didn't look like Narcissa Black - er, Malfoy, potentially.

"Where's Lucius?" I demanded.

"Who are you?" the woman asked. "And Lucius who?"

"What? He's not in there with you?"

"I don't know who you're talking about, but you need to leave," she said, running a hand through her lank, wet hair.

"But I -"

The door slammed in my face. I simply stood there a few minutes, collecting myself. Was this woman lying? I supposed I could give her the benefit of the doubt; she didn't exactly seem like Lucius's type - not that I knew what that was. My guess was that average-looking-older-woman wasn't it, though.

I made my way back downstairs where the barman proceeded to glare at me angrily. His lips remained pursed as I approached.

"Excuse me," I said. "I'm here to see Lucius Malfoy."

"He's not here."

_Shit_. "But where did he go?"

"I'm afraid it's none of my business, and frankly it's none of yours, either."

"But I'm a friend. We were supposed to meet here," I lied.

"You must be mistaken as he's already checked out."

"Oh," I replied, feeling like a bigger fool with each passing second. "Thanks for your help, I guess."

I left, entering the darkened street outside. Where the hell was he? I'd thought it would be safe to assume that if we were meeting at the Leaky Cauldron again on Monday, he wouldn't have checked out of his room. I stood like a lost child in the middle of the street, turning my head constantly back and forth as if I were about to make an attempt to cross. I felt the tears well up in my eyes again. I had not even the slightest idea what to do.

Should I search for him here? Show up at Malfoy Manor?

And what in Merlin's name did I even think I would say to him if I found him? Maybe nothing. Maybe he just deserved a slap in the face. My hands unconsciously clenched at my sides as if ready to throw a punch.

I sighed and looked up into the night sky, my hands releasing from the fists they had formed. Constellations I'd spent years studying in my Astronomy lessons winked down at me, making me feel ever so small as I stood alone in Diagon Alley. I was relieved that it was summer and the constellation bearing my family's namesake wasn't visible. Sleeping with a married man? I didn't need Orion shining strongly above me to tell me that my family would definitely look down on me for that one.

Speaking of family…I recalled that while I was out, I might as well drop in on my cousin on my mother's side, Beauman Borgin, who worked over in Knockturn Alley. I couldn't reasonably return home so quickly after my supposed girls night out, anyway. The walk sobered me, if for no other reason than I knew Beauman would have no sympathy for my plight.

Ignoring the "CLOSED" sign hanging on the door, I shoved my way inside. My arrival was met with the tinkle of a bell and the shout of, "WE'RE CLOSED!" from somewhere in the depths of the shop.

"It's me, Beauman!" I shouted back, sauntering up to the counter and leaning over it to peer into the back of the shop.

My greasy haired cousin emerged from the darkness, looking disgruntled as usual. He was ten years my senior, and I don't think I'd ever grown out of being the annoying little cousin in his eyes. And I didn't ever intend to. I got some weird pleasure out of irritating him, and I liked to think that deep down he was fond of me.

Besides, at this point, Beauman was one of my only remaining connections to my Borgin roots besides my mother. My Aunt Belinda had died when I was young, and I was all but estranged from her daughter Veruka after our infamous "Borgin Brawl" - but I don't talk about that, either. Despite bearing the Orion name and that the Borgin side was rife with secrets and scandal, I'd always identified more with my mother's family.

"Hello, Titania," he said, without enthusiasm.

"Don't sound so excited," I laughed.

"I'm trying to close the shop," he said impatiently.

"I'll help. It's not as if I haven't spent much time in here."

"Fine," he sighed, "since I obviously have no other way to get rid of you. Cover and lock up everything in this glass cabinet, will you?"

"My pleasure," I said, grinning. I knew nothing irritated Beauman more than a sunny attitude.

"So what brings you out here so late anyway?" he asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "I doubt coming to see me was your intent."

"Er…I was supposed to grab drinks with a friend, but apparently that fell through."

"I didn't think thirteen-year-olds were allowed to drink," he said, tallying up a stack of gold and silver coins.

"Oh ha ha. And I'm seventeen now, you git. I'm an _adult_," I added childishly.

"Mmmhmm. You'll still always be my annoying little cousin."

"Mission accomplished," I said, just as the door to the store swung inward again.

"THE SHOP'S BLOODY CLOSED!" screamed Beauman, tossing his quill on the counter and splattering ink all over his notes.

Beauman's yell jarred my senses more than the quiet bell announcing the newcomer, so I reflexively looked to him first. As his face changed from one of impatience to shock to a creepy servile smile, I couldn't help but turn to gaze toward the door to see whom had elicited such a strange sequence of expressions from my cousin. I nearly dropped my wand along with my jaw.

"_You!_" I hissed, just as Beauman simpered, "Good evening, Mister Malfoy."


	4. Chapter 4: The Offer

**Disclaimer: As always, the world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I'm just playing around in her world for fun. Titania Orion and her family are my original characters.**

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**Chapter Four: The Offer**

Lucius flicked his gray eyes from Beauman to me and back a few times, taking in the scene before speaking calmly. He addressed Beauman first.

"I do hope that's not how you usually greet your best customers, Borgin," he said curtly. He then turned to me, his face inscrutable. "Titania. How lovely to see you again so soon."

I was so furious I couldn't even bring myself to say anything in return. I tightened my grip on my wand. Lucius's eyes flitted anxiously around the room again; I could tell he sensed something was amiss.

"And what brings you here?" he asked conversationally, still standing near the entryway, where he'd been accosted by Beauman's less-than-friendly greeting.

As angry as I was, I thought it would sound creepy to admit I'd been trying to track him down, and there's no way I wanted Beauman in on this.

"Just paying my favorite cousin a visit," I said huffily.

"So I'm your _favorite_ cousin now?" Beauman said, laughing sardonically. "Did I take Veruka's spot after she punched you in the face?"

"_Beauman!_" I screeched. How dare he bring that up right now? And how did _everyone_ know about that? "And I think it was the other way around, but that's beside the point."

Lucius took a few curious steps forward, his eyes glinting with amusement. "Ah, so the rumors of the so-called 'Borgin Brawl' are true then?"

"I could reenact it for you," I spat, finally unable to keep my infamous temper in check. "You look like you could use a good slap right about now."

"Titania!" Beauman gaped at me with a horrible open-mouthed expression that revealed his crooked and yellowing teeth. "How dare you speak to Mister Malfoy that way?"

Lucius had finally closed the gap between us. "How dare you indeed. I sense some hostility."

I rolled my eyes. "Damn right you do!"

"Titania, stop being a child and get out of my shop!" Beauman screeched, still hovering protectively by his pile of gold while his eyes danced between me and Lucius.

"I'm not a fucking child!" I screamed back, and then looking Lucius in the eye and whispering so only he could hear, "No thanks to you."

His strong hand closed around my wrist, and I felt the smooth metal of his wedding band press painfully against my wrist bone.

"A word, Titania?" he said. "_Now_."

Beauman watched in horrified confusion as Lucius practically dragged me from the shop, calling over his shoulder, "I'll return shortly; I have business to which I must attend tonight."

All the shops were closed, shabby wooden signs banging against the doors with the occasional gust of wind. The street was deserted except for the two of us, but Lucius nevertheless insisted on dragging me around the side of Borgin and Burkes where there would be less chance of us being seen.

"What in god's name was that little act, Titania? How _dare_ you humiliate me?"

I tried to jerk my hand from his grip, but he held on tighter, the wedding band pressing deeper and deeper into my skin. As if I needed a reminder.

"Act? I'm furious with you! How -" I sniffed, the inevitable tears burning my eyes, "could you do that to me?"

I didn't exactly think I needed to specify, but Lucius cocked his head in confusion before answering.

"I apologize, Titania. If I would have known you were, ah, inexperienced I wouldn't have let myself get so carried away."

My tears were yet to fall, but my nose had started streaming. Great. I wiped at it hastily with my free arm.

"And if I would have known you were fucking _married_ I wouldn't have let you near me!" I hissed, finally getting to the heart of the matter. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

It was all I could do not to scream at him, but I was sure Beauman was doing his best to snoop. As if there weren't enough skeletons in the proverbial Borgin family closet as it was.

Lucius gave a haughty little sniff of a laugh. "You didn't know?"

"I mean, I wasn't exactly invited to the wedding."

"Well, technically, you were. But I suppose it was during spring term at Hogwarts."

I just stared at him; I couldn't believe we were so rationally discussing the logistics of my ignorance.

"I don't fucking care when you got married. Or to whom. Just that you _are_."

"Ah."

His grip slackened around my wrist and I jerked my arm back, massaging it absently as I slumped against the crumbling stone exterior of Borgin and Burkes. All I wanted was to tell someone about this, to be comforted, and I couldn't even do that. No one could know. All I had in this moment was Lucius.

Suddenly, my body was wracked by an alarming laugh-sob hybrid at my plight. God, I was naive. Lucius blinked in alarm as my shoulders shook with hysterical mirth. I had no idea how I was supposed to be feeling right now.

"Titania, please, calm down."

"Calm down?" I laughed. "This _is_ calm. I'm not above a brawl or a duel, as you've heard."

"You wouldn't dare." He reached for my wrists again, pinning my shaking arms to my side. "Besides, even if you had known, I'm certain you wouldn't have done anything differently."

I squirmed under his sobering gaze. Of course things would be different if I'd have known! I was better than some common whore to sleep with married men…wasn't I? But this _was_ Lucius Malfoy, about whom I'd fantasized my entire life. And he'd wanted _me_ in some capacity; wasn't that better than nothing? My shoulders drooped as I realized he might be right. He understood my body language and released me once more before withdrawing a little velvet satchel from within his robes.

"Here," he said, pressing a few coins into my hand. "There's an inn up the street. Wait for me at the bar there; buy yourself a drink. I have business to take care of with Borgin, but I'll meet you shortly and explain everything."

There was no room for negotiation, but I protested anyway, just to be petulant. "And why should I do anything that you tell me to?"

"Because, Titania. You want to hear what I have to say."

* * *

I wandered up the street and shoved open the door to the inn. I found myself in Knockturn Alley's equivalent of the Leaky Cauldron, though it possessed a rather different clientele and atmosphere. It was far less crowded, and the few individuals residing here seemed to be somehow both grimmer and more refined. I bowed my head, tucked my hair behind my ear a few times as was my inclination when I was nervous, and darted towards the bar.

"And what can I get for you?" the bartender asked, leering down at me. He, too, possessed that lascivious gleam in his dark eyes that I'd found so captivating in Lucius earlier. This time, instead of finding the gaze flattering or sensual, I found it creepy.

I subtly pulled up the front of my robes and ordered a firewhiskey, tossing a handful of silver sickles down on the table. I had to refrain from downing the whole thing at once in my anxiety. I'd developed a bit of a tolerance from frequenting the Hogsmeade bars on weekends out, but I wasn't sure how much I could count on that right now. Not with my current state of emotions and empty, churning stomach. I sipped at it morosely, watching the darkened street through the window to my right.

"You alone?" the bartender grinned.

"I'm waiting for someone," I said quickly, too nervous to give him as much attitude as I'd wanted to.

_Hurry up, Lucius! _ I thought, before I remembered how angry I was with him and wasn't particularly looking forward to speaking with him, either.

"Of course you are," the bartender replied disbelievingly.

"Er…" I looked hopelessly around the room. Then, "Lucius!"

He strode his way over to the bar and seated himself next to me. The bartender tossed a last disappointed glance in my direction as he realized I was telling the truth before asking Lucius what he wanted to drink.

Lucius ordered a scotch and suggested we select a more private table at which to talk. Remembering to resume my moodiness, I merely shrugged my agreement. He chose a small corner table in the back of the room, away from the windows.

"So what is so important that you had to talk to me about right now? Personally, I would have thought something like the fact that you're married was important, but I guess not," I snapped.

He frowned at me. "I made no attempt to keep it from you, I'll have you know."

"But -" I protested.

"Quiet. Let me speak," he ordered. He then lowered his voice. "As I've already stated, what happened this afternoon was not my original intent. I simply wished to catch up with you, and potentially discuss further business with you if I deemed it appropriate. I hadn't expected to be so caught off guard by you, and I didn't exactly think you'd be so opposed."

I shook my head in response, wondering if maybe I'd taken more after my fellow Borgin women than I'd once thought. My mother and my aunt had once had quite the reputation in their day - the infamous Borgin sisters had been known for their good looks, extreme flirtatiousness, and impressive sexual conquests. I didn't see it in my mother now, with her quiet, domesticated demeanor and controlling husband. But I'd heard stories, though not from her of course. When the women in your family are the stuff of legend, it's not exactly difficult to find out.

Did that mean the powers of seduction ran in my veins as well? I highly doubted it. While I'd played up my best assets, what happened with Lucius hadn't exactly occurred through any effort of my own. Besides, what I possessed in good looks was almost certainly offset by my general awkwardness.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about any of this," I admitted.

"Flattered, I daresay," Lucius responded almost immediately.

I glanced up at him. He was right. That had to be the key ingredient that made this mixture of emotions so nauseating. However confused or angry I was, a bigger part of me was flattered that Lucius Malfoy had found me worthy of his attention and affection. Had he been right? Would I not have done the same thing even if I had known the whole truth? I couldn't bring myself to say anything else. He smirked at the awestruck expression on my face as the realization hit.

"All right," I conceded. "And how do _you_ feel about all this?"

"I rather enjoyed myself."

"And?" I pressed, still not sure what any of this meant for me.

"And I know you feel the same way, or you wouldn't be here right now. Which is why I rather think you would be interested in hearing my proposal."

I still had nothing to say to them. I tilted my firewhiskey to my lips and gave him a nod to continue.

"I recall your family was always sympathetic to the pure-blood cause. I wanted to take the opportunity to extend to you an invitation to join the ranks of the Death Eaters."

"That was always my intention after graduation," I said, finally feeling this offer warranted a response.

"If that is your desire, you wouldn't even have to wait that long. This is what I wished to discuss with you: your potential training this summer."

"_This summer?_" I exclaimed.

My god, life was certainly happening quickly.

"Indeed. Nothing is stopping you from learning the basics now that you are of age - and you'd be learning from the best."

"And who might that be?" I asked, though I had a sneaking suspicion I knew the answer.

"Why, I would be the one to teach you."

Part of me was dying to protest. How dare he discuss business with me after the very personal turmoil he'd put me through that afternoon? But an even more vocal part of my conscience was urging me to accept his offer. There was no doubt in my mind that the life of a Death Eater was in my future - I might as well get to learn the ropes from Lucius.

"I'm listening." Even as I tried to keep my voice level, I could tell Lucius sensed my undercurrent of interest.

"If this is the path you desire, your training would begin almost immediately. You would come away with me for the summer for indoctrination, rigorous work with advanced curses, and - if you prove worthy - your first mission. Any questions?"

"Come away with you?" I gasped. I hadn't heard much past that to be honest.

"Yes. It is far more efficient if we remain in close proximity, as I would oversee all of your training."

"But what will I tell my parents?" I asked, hating myself for how childlike I was sure I sounded in that moment.

"I planned on speaking with them if you accepted my offer."

I brought my firewhiskey to my lips to buy myself some time to think. It only made sense for me to agree to his terms. I would become a Death Eater either way - and no matter how I felt about Lucius personally, I knew being associated with him could only reflect positively on me.

But then there was the matter of how I _did_ feel about Lucius. The more I thought about it, the more I felt my waves of anger subside only to be replaced by a storm of desire. He was willing to give up a summer to train _me_. He'd broken the commitments of his marriage because of _me_. He was right - I was flattered. But what did it all mean? Was this going to be more than just a business relationship?

The expectant gleam in Lucius's eye told me he wouldn't take no for an answer - and that he didn't even consider it as an option. Besides, how crazy would I be to pass up this opportunity?

"All right. I do wish to begin my training this summer. When do we begin?"

"I was simply planning on keeping our meeting scheduled for Monday." He finished the remainder of his scotch and made to stand. "Do you have any further questions?"

He adjusted his cloak about his shoulders, once more adopting his cool, businesslike manner, all trace of familiarity disappearing. I downed my last sip of firewhiskey and stood as well. I _did_ have questions, especially with the way this meeting was ending. I gnawed at the corner of my lower lip for a moment as if trying to hold them back, but I couldn't.

"Lucius? Will I be, um, seeing you again…like this afternoon? Or was that just a one-time thing?"

He stared at me blankly for a moment, blinking in disbelief. Had my question been so out of line?

"Is that pertinent to your decision?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said truthfully.

"We shall see, Titania."

And with that, we parted ways for the evening.


	5. Chapter 5: Taking Flight

**Author's Note: **My penname has changed but the story is still the same! I just decided I didn't want my name to be completely linked with my OC for when I want to write other stories. So it's **borginbitch** now. Also, thank you to all of you who are following this story! It gives me a reason to keep writing :)

**Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe and characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Titania Orion, her family, and the other OCs in this fic belong to me.**

* * *

**Chapter Five: Taking Flight**

I spent the weekend in a state of disbelief and confusion. I was going to go away with Lucius…but I still didn't know what that meant. He'd been ever so cryptic when I tried to ask him. Or was there some unspoken rule about having an affair that I just didn't know about?

Merlin, was that what I was doing?

If it was, I wasn't about to be caught unprepared. I'd felt so woefully ignorant during our last, er, encounter. I couldn't bear the thought of feeling so naive again.

So I decided to research. Our extensive family library had to have _something_ that would help me in my education. I certainly had no one I could ask. I surreptitiously poked my head into the circular stone room lined floor to ceiling with shelves to make sure I was alone before entering. I'd enjoyed reading as a child, so my parents had always kept age-appropriate spellbooks and stories closest to the ground. So that would mean…

Despite having always been tall for my age - I'd reached nearly six feet by my fifth year - I still had to hop onto the built in bench to get a good look at the top row. I had a vague memory of my mother snatching some books from me as a child and stowing them up here.

Aha. I was right. A handful of titles such as, _The Seductive Sorceress, Sex So Good it Must be Magic, and Potions for Pleasure_, were stowed in the top corner. Ah. So _Potions for Pleasure_ probably hadn't meant how to brew potions for fun like I'd assumed as a child…

Feeling slightly disgusted that my parents of all people owned these books (and frankly hoping that they'd never read them), I pulled them from the shelves and sandwiched them between a few rather unassuming titles before making my way up to my room and locking myself inside.

The contents of the books were far more mystifying to me than any complex spell theory. I'd barely had a grasp of the mechanics of sex before it happened, and the contents of the books only made me feel even more ignorant. I flipped through the volumes with the same unease in my stomach I'd experienced paging through some of our foulest Dark Arts books. People really did some of these things to each other? But curiosity and determination kept me turning the pages, studying the text, scrutinizing the pictures, examining my own suddenly unfamiliar body.

By Monday, I'd safely returned the books to their place on the shelf. I'd studied harder than I ever had for a school exam, and there was still no guarantee I'd pass the test…or if there would even _be_ a test at all! As I readied myself for my lunch date with Lucius, I couldn't help playing scene after scene in my head about how our meeting would potentially go, which essentially meant I just relived our previous encounter at the Leaky Cauldron over and over again, only with some new moves from the books thrown in.

* * *

"Titania, where on earth do you think you're going dressed like that?" my father asked, before I could sneak out the door.

I jumped. Usually he was at work during the day.

"Er…meeting Lucius Malfoy for lunch."

"Not dressed like that you're not. I thought I'd raised you better than that. Go change," he demanded.

"But -"

"_Now_."

I stomped up the stairs to my room and pulled on a different set of robes with a higher neckline. I then marched back downstairs, and stood in front of my father, my hands held up in question. He nodded, though I noted the look of disapproval still etched in the lines of his face. I just couldn't do anything right in his eyes.

Lucius had beat me to the Leaky Cauldron once more. I wanted to apologize for being late, but realized I had a rather lame excuse: my father wouldn't let me out of the house until I changed outfits.

"Hey," I said, joining him at a table for two.

"Hello, Titania," he replied.

Food was brought out almost immediately; Lucius had taken the liberty of ordering for the two of us before I'd arrived. We made small talk, but I could hardly focus as I kept hoping he would decide move our party upstairs to somewhere more private as he had the last time. I didn't even know what to say when he asked about my weekend. I'd read sex books. That's it. But I couldn't exactly tell him that.

Further into our lunch, Lucius paused, looking thoughtful for a moment before he spoke again.

"Forgive me for bringing up what I presume to be a rather - ah - _sensitive_ topic, but I am quite curious: What exactly caused this infamous 'Borgin Brawl' about which I have heard so many rumors?"

I sighed resignedly and put down my fork.

"Do we really have to go there?"

"Well, ever since you threatened to make me the next victim of a fist fight, I've been intrigued as to what would make you resort to Muggle-dueling…" he sneered.

"What's there to tell? It was all over the papers this winter. And I'm sure you've realized by now that I have quite the temper — _that's_ what started it," I said with a shrug; I never enjoyed discussing my very public fight with my cousin and (ex) best friend.

"Which still surprises me; you were such a shy child," he said, smirking again. "But of course I know the outcome: The two of you start throwing punches at old Slughorn's New Year's Eve ball; suddenly a school-wide brawl occurs; then the two of you get tossed out of the Slug Club. What I want to know is why it _started_."

"Well, it's certainly no loss getting kicked out of the Slug Club; Slughorn always just got drunk at meetings and proceeded to confuse me and Veruka for our mothers. Always calling us 'the Borgin sisters' — hence the name of our infamous brawl," I began, though I supposed Lucius knew this as he too had been a member of the Slug Club and had attended these very meetings. "Anyway…Veruka and I were best friends growing up; you know that."

I paused and swallowed, unsure of how to continue. There was no one moment that had exactly started it. My relationship with Veruka had been disintegrating for _months_, and a few nasty taunts exchanged between our respective groups of friends at Slughorn's ball suddenly had us both involved, all our pent-up anger finally bursting forth. I couldn't believe she'd stopped spending time with me for the likes of James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin, who had done nothing but taunt and torture me and my friends — especially Severus — since day one at Hogwarts. And she was going to accuse _me_ of being evil just for hexing a few Hufflepuffs over the years with my gang of Slytherins? Weren't her new friends just as awful?

"Well…we sort of grew apart as we got older. She began to hang out with Mudbloods and blood traitors — _Gryffindors_. And she hated my Slytherin crew as much as I loathed the group with whom she'd chosen to associate. We grew apart, but our groups of friends got into it at the ball, and we both said some things that couldn't be unsaid…and then out came the wands…and the fists…" I let my voice trail off, cringing at the very memory.

Lucius simply looked amused, and I knew why: He'd never cared for Veruka.

"Well, well. It will serve you well to continue to fuel your vehement opposition to Mudbloods and blood traitors over the course of the summer," Lucius said in a low voice, his eyes alight with malice. "Though it won't do for you to descend to the level of Muggle-style fighting again. After all, we pure-bloods are better than that, aren't we now?"

His voice had descended to barely above a whisper. I looked around to see if anyone was trying to listen in on our conversation, but the other customers were all engaged in lively chatter, examining new robes and gadgets after a day's shopping, and paying no notice to the whispered conversation I was having with Lucius.

His voice still quiet, Lucius continued, suddenly businesslike. "Anyway, because of our location, we must speak discreetly. Originally, I'd planned on using this meeting to propose to you the offer to begin your training. However, as you have already accepted, I would like to begin some - ah - unofficial training today. In light of something you said last time, I've deemed some additional assistance is necessary in your case."

My mind automatically jumped to training of a, er, sexual nature. I was ready to prove that after all my research this weekend, I wouldn't need training. I searched Lucius's face for some sign that I was right — a seductive glint in his eye, a suggestive smile. But there was nothing. I was sure my eagerness showed on my face, but I only registered exasperation from Lucius.

"I'm going to teach you to fly," he sneered, as if he didn't know whether to find it funny or pathetic that I didn't currently know how.

"Yeah - no," I said. "Absolutely not."

My first ever flying lesson in my first year at Hogwarts had been nothing short of a disaster. I'd crashed so spectacularly that I could barely even recalled what had happened. Between the concussion, the full body ache and the taunting from my peers, I hadn't been willing to stick to the old adage about getting right back on the broomstick when you're thrown off.

"The ability to ride a broomstick is not an option. Frankly, I'm unsure how you've gotten by so far without it."

"Well, it's a non-issue now that I'm of age, isn't it? I can Apparate just fine. I don't need any alternate form of transportation."

"This is non-negotiable. I won't have you embarrassing me this summer. Besides, the least you can do is thank me for putting in the extra time with you," he said impatiently.

"Assuming I don't die, I'll thank you."

"Are you finished with your lunch?" he asked.

I'd left half of my plate uneaten; the thought of flying had quite taken away my appetite.

"Yes, thanks," I replied uneasily.

Lucius paid for the meal and we made our way into the crowded street.

"Just so you know, I haven't even got a broom, anyway…" I pointed out as we walked along, hoping this would deter him from further thoughts of teaching me how to fly.

He stopped, and I thought it would be to tell me off for protesting, but he instead gestured up at a shop sign: We were standing right in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies.

"After you," he said graciously.

I seriously considered grabbing onto the door frame and wedging my heels into the doorway as he opened the door for me and gave me a gentle push inside, but I decided I'd rather not make a scene.

"Lucius," I hissed. "I can't afford a broom right now."

"I'll take care of it." He subtly patted his pocket, bulging with coins.

I blushed. "That's really not necessary — no I insist. Please _don't do this_."

But my protests were interrupted by a young wizard with bright red robes and a mess of curly brown hair.

"Can I help you?" he asked, sounding unreasonably excited; he had to be about my age, probably working his first job.

"As a matter of fact, this young lady needs a new broom," Lucius said sleekly, pulling me around in front of him.

"Well," the kid said, leading us through the sea of shoppers to a rack of brooms hanging on a shelf labeled "Cleansweeps." "The Cleansweeps are a popular brand…very versatile, reasonably priced…"

"We can do better," Lucius said coolly.

The boy looked at him with wide eyes. I fixed Lucius with the same expression. How much money did he want to spend on me?

"All right, then; this way," the boy said, now leading us to a rack labeled "NIMBUS."

"The newest model is there on the top, incredibly smooth to fly." He pointed to a shiny broom made of polished, reddish wood, and when he dropped his hand he continued to stare at it wistfully.

"Let me see it," Lucius said.

The boy muttered a few charms to release the protective spells guarding the broom and then summoned it down. He held it longingly in his hand for a moment before passing it to Lucius.

"I think this will do. What do you think, Titania? Hmm?" Lucius asked, holding the broom out to me.

"Oh," I said hesitantly, "if you think this is a good one…"

I didn't want to seem ungrateful, but I also new nothing about brooms except for the fact that I preferred to stay as far away from them as possible. Lucius smirked at my ignorance.

"A good one?" said the boy incredulously, staring at me as if I hadn't said something merely stupid, but blasphemous. "Don't you realize how valuable that broom is — top of the line, fastest —" He was sputtering in indignation.

Lucius silenced him with a wave of his hand and closed his eyes impatiently at the boy's rant. At the same time, I screeched,"Fastest?!"

My voice hit a high note of terror.

"Ah, yes. Well, we don't want anything less than the best, do we?" Lucius said, looking to me.

He handed the broom back to the boy, who clearly thought that such an awe-inspiring broom was being wasted on the likes of me. He stalked off to the counter haughtily; Lucius smirked. Before Lucius could follow the boy, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Lucius… you don't have to do this for me," I said once more.

Translation: _Please don't do this to me_.

"No, but I want to," he replied. "You need a broom. And you should learn to be more grateful."

"The thought of flying is making me grateful for my _life_ right now."

"Oh, Titania, don't be melodramatic."

"Fine," I said, resigned. "But could you get me one of those, instead?" I pointed to a rack of Shooting Stars. "They're less expensive…and slower," I added hopefully.

"No, no, no," he said, clicking his tongue. "You'll get nothing less than the best. Come."

I gave in and followed him to the counter. He pulled a little black velvet bag of gold from his pocket and poured a generous amount onto the counter as the boy gingerly packaged my new broom (how odd that sounded to me — _my broom_) in brown paper. I saw him shaking his head. Lucius shoved several neat stacks of galleons and a little pile of sickles towards the boy.

After paying, we left the shop and emerged back into the sunny street.

"Now, let's go someplace where we can fly this," he said.

I groaned loudly and glared at him.

"You know," he said delicately, "most people say 'thank you' when they receive a gift."

I sighed. "Thank you."

Lucius stopped when we'd reached a clearing in the street and took my hand.

"Ready?" he asked.

I simply shrugged before we Apparated, Diagon Alley disappearing in front of me eyes. We reappeared in an open field surrounded by tall, dense trees.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Just a little place I know to be perfect for flying: secluded, open. Not to mention, the weather is beautiful. Now," he said, unwrapping my broom from its paper packaging, "I'll steer first and you'll just hold on and enjoy the ride. Then, we'll switch places and —"

I blanched. "What?"

"You heard me: You'll fly and I'll just sit behind you to guide you."

He mounted the broom and motioned for me to join him. I climbed on reluctantly and wrapped my arms around his ribs.

"Good lord, not so tight...not so tight," he said, patiently prying my arms from him to loosen my hold.

"Sorry," I muttered.

Lucius peered over his shoulder to check on me.

"For goodness' sake, Titania, keep your eyes open. Ready? Kick off with me. One, two, three!"

We pushed off from the grass and rose a few feet into the air. Disobeying Lucius, I closed my eyes and pressed my face into the smooth fabric of his robes. He picked up the pace and began flying circles around the field. I took a few deep breathes to relax, my chest pressed tightly against Lucius's back. I even ventured to open one eye to peek at my surroundings.

"I can feel that you're still breathing, at least," he called.

"Yeah!" was all I managed to say back. _Barely_.

We continued to make slow laps around the field. I suppose it wasn't bad once I got used to it: As long as I didn't think too hard about my feet not being on the ground, I was fine. In fact, I was _almost_ enjoying myself.

"How are you feeling?" Lucius asked, glancing back at me.

"Fine, actually," I said, sounding as surprised as I felt.

He gave me an I-told-you-so smirk and looked straight ahead again. Finally, after a much steeper dive than I was comfortable with, we were safely back on solid ground. He dismounted gracefully and then turned, holding out his arm for me; I nearly leaped off the broom and into his arms.

"That wasn't so bad, was it, darling?" he asked.

"It could have been worse," I admitted.

I was still conscious, so that at least was an improvement from my last experience on a broom.

"Now it's your turn," he said smoothly.

"No – don't you think we're taking this a bit too fast?" I asked desperately.

He rolled his eyes impatiently.

"Titania, please don't be difficult. I'll be right behind you; you'll be just fine."

I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "All right."

"Good girl. Now, mount that broom," he instructed, gesturing to the broom hanging mockingly in midair.

I stepped onto it and grasped the handle tightly. Lucius stepped up right behind me, and instead of placing his hands on my waist, he too grasped the handle of the broom. At first, despite this position being rather awkward, I was relieved that he was going to help me steer. But then, he slid his hands back along the broom so they were resting in the crease of my hips.

"Lucius!" I hissed, releasing my white-knuckled grip to guide his hands away from my crotch. "Are you trying to get us killed? You can't distract me like that!"

"Focus, Titania," he whispered, a note of seduction in his voice.

"You're making that rather difficult," I said out of the corner of my mouth.

He placed his hands on my waist, holding me gently.

"You'll be fine," he said soothingly. "Ready?"

"No," I muttered.

"One, two, three!"

As I was unwilling to move my feet, Lucius used his extra height to kick off for us, where we hovered a few feet above the ground.

"Now, just lean forward gently to accelerate," he explained.

"But I don't want to go any faster."

"Titania, we're not moving," he pointed out.

"Exactly."

He lifted one hand from my waist and pushed me forward; we sped up.

"There, good. Now, turn right here when we get closer to those trees…"

I jerked the broom abruptly to the right, and we turned around sharply; I gripped the handle more tightly, gritting my teeth. Somehow, we'd managed not to fall off.

"A bit much," he said, ever patient. "Try again here…just ease into it."

I was amazed at his tolerance: We spent literally the entire afternoon flying laps around the little field. I grew bored, impatient, and flustered long before Lucius was ready to abandon our training session. Was he expecting me to go from lost cause to World Cup caliber Quidditch star in a matter of hours? I was just glad to be alive.

By the time the sun had dipped below the treetops, we had fallen off thrice, crashed into a tree, and argued about the merits of flying versus Apparition. I had, however, managed to do a few laps around the clearing all by myself, albeit slowly. And neither of us suffered any mortal injuries. I was quite proud of myself.

"I think that's quite enough for today," Lucius said, as I landed next to him, dismounted clumsily, and stumbled into his arms.

He set me back on me feet.

"You could say that again," I muttered, stiff and sunburned.

"Your flying skills should be sufficient for now; if time permits, I will continue to assist you."

Suddenly remembering my manners for the first time all day, I said, "I appreciate it."

Lucius repackaged my broom, took my hand, and we Apparated back to Diagon Alley.

"So…when do we begin training for real?" I asked, sincerely hoping it would be nothing like this.

"If they are available, I can come speak to your parents tomorrow. We will go from there."

I nodded. "My father will be home in the evening."

"Excellent, I shall come to call then."


	6. Chapter 6: Training Begins

**Author's Note:** Thank you to all of you who have read/favorited/followed this story so far! For those of you following, do you prefer shorter, more frequent updates, or longer ones slightly less frequently? Let me know what you think and thanks again for reading!

**Disclaimer: As always, the Harry Potter universe belongs to J.K. Rowling; I do not own any of the HP characters. **

* * *

**Chapter Six: Training Begins**

I waited in our sitting room for Lucius to arrive the next evening; I hadn't alerted my parents that he would be coming. I reckoned he'd be better able to explain my future, as I still had only a vague idea of what training entailed. The doorbell rang promptly at 6 o'clock, and I leaped from my chair as if it had suddenly caught fire, and rushed to the door.

"Hey," I said, as I pulled the door open and saw Lucius standing there in his best robes.

"Good evening, Titania," he said, always one for formalities.

I stepped aside and let him inside our humble, dimly lit sitting room. I was sure it had been years since he'd been here. He gazed around, chin raised haughtily, and I could tell he was trying not to let his judgment show on his pointed face.

"Er," I said, pushing my dark hair back from my eyes — I'd never been a particularly good hostess, especially since my father had always encouraged my silence as a child. "Can I get you a firewhiskey or tea or something?"

"Tea would be just fine," Lucius said, seating himself when he realized I probably wasn't going to offer him a seat.

Just as I was about to head to the kitchen to fetch some tea, my mother wandered into the room.

"Is someone here, Titania?" she asked. "I thought I heard you talking to someone…"

And then she spotted Lucius, who had stood as my mother, Bernice, entered the room.

"Mrs. Orion," he said with a slight bow, before allowing my mother to embrace him.

"Lucius Malfoy," she said with a smile. "How are you?"

"Splendid," he said. "It's a pleasure to see you again. I apologize I didn't have more time to socialize at the wedding…"

I scowled in the corner, though neither of them noticed.

My mother waved her hand carelessly. "Of course, I understand. Congratulations again, and do give Narcissa my best."

"Thank you," he said.

I sneaked off to fetch some tea as the two exchanged pleasantries, returning with a tray bearing kettle and cups as my mother asked, "What brings you here today, Lucius?"

I placed the tea tray on the coffee table to announce my arrival.

"I've actually come to speak with you and Mr. Orion about Titania," he said, looking to me as I poured three cups of black tea.

Mother looked to me, arching one of her dark, perfect, Borgin brows. Her look was almost accusatory. I hastily focused my attention back on the tea.

"Oh, really? What about?" she asked.

"Is Mr. Orion available as well? I should like to address the both of you."

"I'll be right back," my mother said, tossing one last curious glance at me over her shoulder.

She returned momentarily with my father, leaving Lucius and me in awkward silence, sipping at our tea. I winced as it burned my lips.

"Lucius!" my father, Leopold, exclaimed, jovial as I'd ever seen him; his stoic expression rarely lifted. Apparently, however, he could summon enthusiasm for Lucius Malfoy, but not for his only daughter.

Lucius shook my father's hand. "Mr. Orion," he said with a nod, "a pleasure as always."

"Have a seat," my father said, gesturing to the leather couch on which Lucius had been seated earlier. "What brings you here today? I saw your father only last week."

We all sat. I hovered awkwardly on the edge of the armchair. I didn't know why I was so nervous. I knew my father, at least, would be nothing short of delighted that Lucius was offering to train me for such a noble cause. It just felt _odd_ having Lucius here after what we'd done, and not knowing the nature of our current relationship. It was like a meet-the-parents scenario where he already knew the parents but they had no idea we were, er, whatever-we-were. I buried my face in my hands as Lucius cast a bemused look in my direction.

"Well, as I was just telling Mrs. Orion, I've come to discuss Titania's future. She once expressed interest in my — ah — line of work, so to speak. I wished to seek your permission to take her away for the summer in order to begin her training. It would be of no cost to you, naturally; as we are old family friends, I volunteered to be the one to to guide Titania through her training. I would be honored to teach your daughter our ways in the fight to regain blood purity in wizarding society."

A satisfied smile spread across my father's square-jawed face. "Of course, Lucius. I do appreciate you volunteering your time with Titania when I'm sure you had many other candidates from which to choose."

_Meaning boys_, I thought, as my father gave me an appraising look. Lucius looked to my mother next.

"Yes, we do appreciate it," she said, though her voice trembled ever so slightly, and her eyes flickered uncertainly to me.

"Excellent. The sooner we can begin training, the better. I am ready for Titania to join me at the earliest convenience. We have already been in contact this week and she has accepted my offer."

He nodded to me.

I shrugged. "Ready when you are. I just have some last minute packing. Mother? Father? May I leave tonight?"

"You heard Lucius; he wants to begin training straight away," said my father. "I'm sure you could use all the help he has to offer."

_Right. Because I'm not good enough on my own._

"I'll help you pack," my mother offered, leading me up the stairs to my bedroom, leaving my father and Lucius deep in conversation.

We were quiet as we packed. In all honesty, the process shouldn't have been a lengthy one since my trunk was mostly still full from my Hogwarts term. However, my mother and I both dallied. As soon as I left this room, I knew my life was going to change. She knew it, too.

It wasn't until my trunk was almost full that my mother asked, "Are you sure this is what you want?"

She was looking down into her hands as she voiced the question.

"Of course, I -"

She held up a photo of four women; well, two women — one of which was pregnant — and two little girls, all with dark hair and strikingly angular eyebrows. My stomach squirmed at the sight of it. It was my favorite photo of the Borgin women: my mother, Bernice; my aunt, Belinda, pregnant with my baby cousin, Mimi; my cousin, Veruka; and me. My mother and her sister Belinda had been inseparable growing up, and the same had become true of me and Veruka as children. The scandal surrounding Belinda's death ten years ago, however, had estranged our families. It wasn't until I was older and had rekindled a friendship with Veruka at Hogwarts that I learned the cause of this scandal: Belinda had been involved with a Muggle and my cousin was a half-blood; Veruka had told me so during our fourth year.

Being raised surrounded by vehement supporters of the pure-blood cause made this news nothing short of earth-shattering to me. I'd felt betrayed, but I loved Veruka too much for it to affect our friendship — at least initially. Eventually, it simply became another factor forcing down the wedge that would drive us apart. My mother had loved Belinda more than any cause, but she pretended for my father's sake to be as in support of the pure-blood pride movement as he was. I couldn't lead such a double life. I wanted Veruka on my side; I was one of the few people who knew the truth about her parentage — she could renounce it, hide it, be a proper Borgin if she wanted. But she would have none of it. Instead, she chose to consort with traitors and Mudbloods.

And then there was our infamous brawl...

"Veruka's chosen her path; I've chosen mine," I told my mother resolutely.

She simply nodded, but I could tell she was hurt. She placed the photograph of the four (and a half, if you count Mimi the fetus) Borgin females atop a pile of black robes in my trunk.

"Well, it looks like you're all set," she said.

My room looked strangely empty when we were through, even though this was how it always looked when I packed to go to Hogwarts in the fall. But maybe this time, the emptiness seemed heavier because I knew I wasn't likely coming back.

"Yeah…thanks, Mum," I told her.

This was one of those moments where I desperately wished my mother and I were closer. We didn't often write while I was at school. Thanks to my father's stony influence, she'd never been particularly doting or affectionate. The love we shared for my Aunt Belinda and Veruka was all we had. But our fragile bond had nearly broken with Belinda's death and my brawl with Veruka. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to throw myself into my mother's arms, to hold her, to confess to her that I didn't know what I was doing, that I was nervous and confused and excited all at once. But I didn't; I couldn't. I closed the lid to my trunk.

"I suppose we should be getting back downstairs," I said.

She nodded again, and the longing look in her eyes suggested that maybe she was feeling the same way that I was — that she wanted to suddenly engulf me in motherly affection. But she didn't.

I magicked my trunk to follow me down the stairs, my mother following solemnly after the trunk. By the time we had returned to the sitting room, I noticed that she had hitched a bittersweet smile on her face. My father stood and put his arm around her, and for the first time in my memory, he looked at me like he was proud.

Lucius stood as well and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I can assure you Titania will be in good hands this summer, and I appreciate you letting her take this opportunity."

"Nothing would make me more proud," my father said.

Mother remained silent.

"Goodbye," I said awkwardly.

My father strode forward and shook my hand. While I was slightly disappointed, I wasn't at all surprised by his oddly formal farewell. But I couldn't even complain: For once in my life, I knew he was proud of me.

"Goodbye, Titania. And good luck," he said.

My mother stepped forward next and pulled me close for a brief hug. I was surprised to feel tears spring to my eyes.

"I love you, Titania," my mother whispered.

When she stepped back, I saw that the tears in her eyes mirrored my own. I wiped my face hastily on my sleeve and turned to Lucius.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready," I answered.

"A pleasure, once again, Mr. and Mrs. Orion," Lucius said. "Good evening."

And without a backward glance, Lucius and I left, leaving life as I knew it behind.

* * *

"So, where are we going, exactly?" I asked, as we made our way down the front walk and prepared to Apparate.

"Knockturn Alley, of course."

He extended his hand, and we disappeared together into the night, arriving with a pop in front of the same inn at which we had met only a few nights ago to discuss my potential training. I glanced up at the wooden sign hanging above us, and scripted red letters told me it was called "Stay for a Spell."

Lucius held open the door and we stepped inside. He allowed me to drop off my trunk at the front desk before directing me to the bar, where I was pleased to see they had different staff working tonight. The attractive female bartender smiled in our direction. I returned the friendly look only to realize she wasn't even looking at me, but at Lucius. Of course. I looked away from her awkwardly, and my eyes landed upon —

"_Severus?_" I exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at my quiet, greasy-haired peer.

"Hello, Titania."

"Ah, Severus, right on time," said Lucius genially, sitting next to him at the bar.

I remained standing, looking back and forth between the two of them, finally turning to Lucius, flabbergasted.

"You knew he was going to be here?"

"Of course; you didn't think you were going to be the only one I was training this summer, did you?" he asked with an impatient little chortle, as if I was some sort of idiot.

"I, er…"

_Of course, I did!_ I thought angrily. Never once had Lucius mentioned that he would have another trainee under his wing — especially not one of my closest friends from Hogwarts.

"It's nice to see you, too, Titania," Severus said, his voice also impatient, though he gave me a friendly smirk.

"Yeah, sorry, you too," I mumbled, giving him a brief hug.

Severus stiffened. He'd never been one for physical affection, but I'd always been a hugger with my friends. Maybe I was trying to compensate for the cold, stoic, and unaffectionate atmosphere that my father had created in our household.

"Three firewhiskeys," Lucius said to the bartender.

His seductive smile was back, and I noticed she didn't make him pay for the drinks. I scowled behind his back before taking the seat next to Severus and accepting my drink.

"We will be remaining here for the duration of the summer," Lucius said, able to speak at a relatively normal volume in the safety of Knockturn Alley. "I have booked rooms for the three of us upstairs at the inn. The other new recruits are stationed at other locations around the country; it would look too suspicious for us all to congregate in one place for such a length of time. However, we will not spend the summer completely in isolation. As your training progresses, we will meet with the other new recruits for certain - ah - _events_."

He gave us an evil little smirk. Why could I no longer get him to look at _me_ with such a naughty glint in his eye? While my attention kept wandering elsewhere (like the bedroom), I noticed Severus was listening raptly. _Why _did I have to be paired with the most brilliant student in our year? I was sure Severus would make me look nothing short of a fool to Lucius this summer. It wasn't that I wasn't smart - just, er, sloppy sometimes. And then there was the fact that I'd always been strangely captivated by Severus - stand-offish and slimy though he was.

This was going to be one hell of a summer.

"Titania, have you been listening to a word I've said?" Lucius said brusquely.

_Shit_.

"Er…we'll be meeting up with the other new recruits later in the summer," I replied hurriedly.

"I did say that…several minutes ago. Pay attention! Your life may depend on it eventually."

I thought _that_ was being a bit melodramatic, but it nevertheless put an end to my musings about my pathetic (lack of) love life.

"Well then. It's getting rather late. Let's get you two checked into your rooms so that you can settle in for the night. We'll begin our training first thing in the morning."

We retrieved our keys (Lucius had once more taken care of payments), and made our way up to the second floor. Severus and I had rooms right next to each other, while Lucius was directly across the hall from me. The rooms were cozy enough, with a small stone fireplace (already lit), dark wooden floors, and mirrored dresser.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was almost surprised to find that my reflection looked much the same as it always did. Aside from my dazed and overwhelmed expression, there were no tell-tale outer signs to reflect just how different I felt. So much had changed in just a matter of days. I'd gone from normal, unassuming teenager to Death-Eater-in-training/adult/slut. Despite years of Divination lessons, I couldn't have foreseen any of this. If my Divination professor herself would have divined that this summer I would fuck a married Lucius Malfoy and spend the next three months holed up in an inn with him and Severus Snape, I could have predicted with certainty that she'd had one too many firewhiskeys before looking into the crystal ball.

I heaved my trunk to the foot of the bed, pleased to see the comforter was the exact emerald green of Slytherin House.

"Home, sweet home," I mumbled to myself, flopping back onto the bed.

_Knock. Knock._

Two soft knocks on the door.

"Come in," I called, not moving from my reclined position on the bed.

Severus stepped inside, leaving the door ajar behind him.

"Hey," I said, finally sitting up and patting the bed next to me to offer Severus a seat.

He scrunched his face in discomfited disagreement and remained standing.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Just checking in. Did you really not know I'd be here this summer?"

"Er, no. I've gone into this whole ordeal pretty blindly to be honest. Do you know if any of our other Hogwarts friends are joining as well?"

"We're Lucius's only trainees, but I wouldn't doubt that Avery is joining up, too. I'm sure we'll find out soon enough."

I tucked my legs up to my chest.

"Sit down, you're making me anxious," I said.

Resigned, Severus seated himself next to me, though he left a sizable gap of Slytherin-green fabric between us. The door to my room swung open once more.

"Ah, all settled in, I see? Good," said Lucius, striding over to us.

"Thank you for the accommodations," Severus said.

"You're quite welcome," Lucius said, with a careless wave of his hand. "I hope they're to your liking. Anyway, you two should get some rest; this will be a big adjustment and I'd like to begin first thing in the morning. Good night."

And he left.

"Well, I guess I should be leaving, too," Severus said.

"You don't have to if you don't want — I'm sure I'll be up for awhile. It's been a lot to process; I doubt I'll be able to sleep, anyway."

He nodded. "I'll stay for a bit."

I glanced around awkwardly. I hadn't spent much time alone with Severus. He was usually just another — albeit rather quiet — member of our inseparable group of Slytherins. Avery could always be counted on to be the center of attention, never providing us with a moment's silence. Mira Selwyn knew how to read people's moods better than anyone I knew. Slytherins in years both above and below us - Evan Rosier, Regulus Black, Mulciber - respected us. I was sociable enough among my fellow Slytherins, but without all of them I descended into my natural state of awkwardness.

"So, er, how's your summer been?"

"Well, we haven't had much of one so far, have we?" Severus replied.

"I suppose not."

"I'm glad to be here…I hate being home."

I waited patiently for him to say more — Severus rarely spoke of his home life. Had it been like mine, where he'd been taught to be a silent child? I couldn't see him having been coddled by his parents.

"It can't be all bad, can it?" I asked; I didn't exactly love being home, but it was refreshing to escape the confines of the castle for awhile.

"You've never met my parents. In fact, my father doesn't even know I'm here," he said bitterly. "But I'm sure he won't miss me."

"And your mother?" I asked cautiously.

"She died last year," he said matter-of-factly.

I stared at him in stunned disbelief.

"Sev…I'm so sorry."

I reached out to place a comforting hand upon him, only to discover that he was a few inches too far away. Instead of inching closer, I withdrew my hand quickly. His face remained expressionless.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked. "You know we would all have wanted to be there for you!"

He shrugged and turned to face me. There was so much hidden in the depths of his blank, black eyes. I felt my own eyes glaze with tears.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want _this_. Your pity. I've always been fine on my own. Anyway…I should go to bed. You heard Lucius; we've got to be up early."

"Right," I said, not knowing how to respond to this. "Well, good night, Severus."

"Good night, Titania," he said, sliding off the bed and leaving without a backward glance.

This would be one interesting summer, indeed.

* * *

Far from keeping me awake like I expected, my attempt to process all the events from the past few days was so exhausting that I fell asleep almost instantly upon crawling beneath the blankets. I had fallen into such a deep sleep that I awoke dazed and groggy when my door creaked open. Used to the darkness of the Hogwarts dungeons in which the Slytherin dormitories were located, I'd put out the fire and closed the curtains to my room, plunging it into blackness. Thus, I had no idea what time it was when I awoke. Was I late for training?

I sat up to see Lucius momentarily silhouetted in the chink of light from the hallway, but then he closed the door and the room was thrown once more into darkness. I made to get out of bed, assuming he was waking me up for a day of training, but I suddenly felt his smooth hand upon my shoulder shoving me back into bed. I strained my eyes to see him in the dark. He raised a finger to his lips before pressing his lips to mine.

Surely, I had to be dreaming still. Though surprised, I instinctively moved over to allow Lucius room on the bed. As my mind gained clarity, I found myself panicking: Had I remembered to brush my teeth? What underwear was I wearing? Why did I suddenly have to worry about these things?!

"Your training begins now," Lucius breathed. "You're not on the Potion, are you?"

I shook my head, then, realizing he probably couldn't see my movement, replied, "No."

"We'll have to change that soon. But no matter…for now, there are other things we can do…"

Still dazed and half-asleep, I kissed Lucius reflexively, half-convinced I was dreaming. I could barely see through the darkness, but my diminished sight only seemed to enhance every touch, every caress, every kiss. This experience was rather more pleasurable than the last one. Lucius was patient and gentle, as if we had all the time in the world to reach the level of urgent, ravenous sex that had been our first encounter. Would all my summer nights be filled with illicit rendezvous? Something about Lucius's patience gave me that hope.

Despite the fact that I literally was fumbling around blindly because I could hardly see, my touch this time was sure, confident. Without so much as a word from Lucius, I set to work doing things of which I had never heard only a few days prior. The books I'd sneaked from my parents library had opened up a whole new world of possibilities. I didn't need to see Lucius's face to know that he was pleasantly surprised by my sudden knowledge and surety in bed.

"_Where_ did you learn to do that?" Lucius groaned as I swallowed and raised my head from his cock.

He released his hand from the vice-like grip he'd had upon my shoulder. I shrugged nonchalantly.

"I'm a Borgin; it's probably in my blood."

"I thought you said you'd never…?" he asked suspiciously.

"I hadn't," I replied, pleased at his reaction.

"Well, then, I suppose it's only fair if I return the favor…"

God, this was going to be a good summer.

_Really good_.


	7. Chapter 7: Confused

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; characters belong to J.K. Rowling, except for Titania and friends.**

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**Chapter Seven: A Confused Bird and a Confused Heart**

Much to my disappointment, I awoke alone. God, last night had been so surreal. I clambered out of bed and into the shower. I was unsure when or where I was supposed to meet my two companions, but I reckoned Lucius would have let me know if there was somewhere I needed to be right away, so I took my time getting ready. I wanted to look perfect for him.

When I was clean and had smoothed my hair by dousing it in Sleakeazy's, I wandered across the hall and knocked on Lucius's door to find out the plan for the day. No answer. Assuming he was either in the shower or already downstairs, I headed to the lobby to get some coffee. I did not do well without my coffee in the morning…especially when I'd been up all night…

Severus was already seated in an armchair by the fire sipping his coffee when I arrived.

"Where's Lucius?" I asked.

Severus shrugged.

"Any idea what the plan is for today?" I asked.

He shrugged again.

"I'm rather curious, aren't you?"

A nod.

I sighed and poured myself a cup of coffee. "Should I not talk to you this early in the morning?"

"That would be ideal," he finally spoke.

I mixed cream and sugar into my coffee just as Lucius wandered into the lobby.

"Ah, you're both up!" he said, joining us for coffee and already looking awake and immaculate, despite the fact that it was — I glanced up at the clock above the mantelpiece — 7:30 a.m.

I yawned in response to show that I wasn't _really_ that awake yet after last night's shenanigans. Lucius showed no sign of sleep deprivation — and no sign of acknowledgment, for that matter. Severus continued to sip his coffee in silence, and did not notice my failed attempts to catch Lucius's eye.

"Right, while you two are having your coffee, I'll explain the plan for today," Lucius said, taking a seat in one of the other armchairs. "I thought a good start would be practice of the Unforgivable Curses. You can imagine how useful they will soon become to you, and it's important that you are able to master them."

I peeked over at Severus; his excitement was obvious. Knowing him, he had probably already mastered the Unforgiveables. His brilliant mind was always one step ahead.

"Now, this will be tricky, because until we are ready for a full raid, we must be incredibly subtle and cautious." Lucius's eyes flickered to me. "Unsuspecting Muggles will be prime targets for practice once you've grasped the basics. However, we'll begin with animals, though I daresay they're not nearly as satisfying."

He let his comment sink in. Severus had an almost hungry look in his eyes, eager to begin our training. I had eyes only for Lucius, especially after our encounter the night before. Lucius lowered his voice before continuing, ignoring my gaze.

"I've found the Imperius Curse is the best starting point. While it requires magical prowess and mental strength just as the other Curses do, there is less of an emotional element involved — it takes a certain level of fortitude to inflict pain on another being…or indeed, to kill," he said, with an air of explaining nothing more horrific than the curriculum for our future N.E.W.T.s. "With all of the Curses, we will progress through victims of various complexity: from animals to Muggles, Muggles to Mudbloods. As we will be starting small today, we can use my quarters for practice. In the future, we will need to venture to other locations."

"This is all a lot to grasp before I've had my coffee," I muttered, raising my mug to my lips.

Lucius rolled his eyes. "I suppose we must wait to begin until Titania is fully caffeinated, then."

Severus had already drained his cup and was looking at me impatiently, clearly ready to get started.

"All right, all right!" I said, downing the rest of my cup's contents. "I'm ready."

I followed my two companions upstairs to Lucius's room, which, I noticed, was rather larger than mine. He waved his wand lazily, and a little sparrow appeared, chirping and confused. It hopped innocently across the hardwood floors. Severus and I both watched its progress for a moment before Lucius spoke again.

"Now, birds are small, non-magical, and simple. You should be able to gain control over its mind almost instantly; a creature such as this does not have the power to fight back. However, it will give you a good idea of what it is like to have complete control of another being. Watch me now — _Imperio!_" Lucius cried, giving a circular wave of his wand and directing it at the little bird.

The sparrow ceased its hopping and then began to zoom around the room like a Quidditch player diving for the Snitch. Lucius made more lazy circles with his wand, and the bird performed a series of acrobatics amid its dives. He then released the spell and looked expectantly at us.

"Well, Severus? Would you care to begin?"

Severus nodded and, imitating Lucius's wand motion, cast his spell on the sparrow. The bird paused again before repeating the odd Quidditch/gymnastics hybrid of dives and somersaults. His dark eyes darted along with the bird, and though he was wearing his usual straight-faced expression, I sensed satisfaction in the tension of his mouth and concentration in his eyes.

"Good…" Lucius muttered, looking between Severus and his victim.

I was too busy watching my comrades to pay much attention to the bird, my apprehension growing with every passing second. Despite being friends — or maybe friendly was a better word — with Severus for the past six years, I still felt like I didn't know much about him. I did know, however, that he was a master of the Dark Arts — especially for someone our age. It didn't appear as though casting the curse was costing Severus any effort at all. Had he done it before? What if I failed miserably in comparison?

"Your turn, Titania," Lucius said softly.

"Okay," I said, with a deep breath and a nod.

I raised my wand. "_Imperio!_"

I felt the spell leave my wand, but unlike other charms or curses I'd used in the past, this one stayed connected to me. It was the strangest sensation. I was so surprised by the small but total sense of power and control emanating from me that for a moment I did nothing at all. The bird and I both stared at each other stupidly. I was yet to make the sparrow do anything, but it wasn't doing anything of it's own accord, either.

"Well?" Lucius snapped, shattering my singular sense of power.

The connection broke. The curse lifted. The sparrow tried to make a run for it and collided with a muffled thud against the window. Lucius revived the bird lazily.

"Try again."

"_Imperio!_"

I once more felt the strange, tangible connection. I could sense the bird's simple mind; it didn't feel like there was much I _could _make it do. I therefore imitated what both Severus and Lucius had done: I sent the bird streaking upwards, then diving back down, narrowly avoiding a collision with the floor. I saw Lucius nod his approval out of the corner of my eye and lifted the curse.

"Much better," he said. "So you two now have a sense of how it feels to have control? It will become much different as we progress to beings who have a stronger mind with which you need to contend. Severus, take another turn at the sparrow."

We continued to practice with the bird for the rest of the morning. It wasn't until my stomach gave an almighty grumble that was so alarmingly loud it caused Severus to lose concentration and inadvertently lift his Imperius Curse that Lucius suggested we break for lunch.

"Thank god," I mumbled, rubbing my abdomen.

Lucius raised his eyebrows at me. "I'll bear in mind not to require you to attempt anything stealthy unless you're well fed."

Severus stared at me with a friendly sort of impatience. I realized he gave me that look a lot.

"I wouldn't advise you to trust Titania with any sort of stealth mission — ever," he advised Lucius.

"And why not?" I asked huffily, trodding on the hem of my robes and stumbling as I followed Severus and Lucius out of the room.

They exchanged significant looks as I straightened myself.

"Duly noted," Lucius replied.

I glared at Severus. "That's not fair."

"Titania, please, don't try to pretend you're not clumsy. The only time I've seen you retain proper control of your limbs is in front of a cauldron. For whatever reason, you seem to be able to brew a potion quite well, and without knocking all your ingredients off the table."

My instinct was to retort, but I had nothing to say. Truer words had never been spoken; I _was_ irredeemably clumsy. Yet I could brew potions just fine. Quite well, in fact; only Severus bested me in that department.

"Ah, so it appears I have two accomplished potion-brewers on my hands."

"Best in our year!" I said happily. "Though I'm no longer old Sluggy's favorite after the brawl…"

Lucius once again seemed far too amused by this particular subject, and I regretted bringing it up almost immediately. He turned to Severus, who looked embarrassed.

"And were you involved as well?"

"In a manner of speaking," Severus said.

"_Everyone_ was involved," I sighed.

"And yet, it has been dubbed the 'Borgin Brawl,' not the 'Everyone-was-involved Brawl,'" Lucius pointed out.

"I don't see why you're so hung up on this," I muttered.

"It's just hard to reconcile with my original opinion of you," he said.

"But now?"

"I better understand that temper of yours," he said softly.

Severus looked back and forth between me and Lucius, as if trying to recall when I might have unleashed my fury on Lucius. I hoped he never found out. We soon entered into the bar for a quick lunch, and discussion of the brawl was conveniently dropped.

As our meal came to an end, Lucius said, "Titania, your next assignment is waiting for you in your room. I expect it will take you the rest of the afternoon to complete. Severus, you will remain with me."

I shot Lucius a quizzical look, wondering why I wasn't going to be continuing my training with him for the time being.

"Run along now," he said condescendingly.

I slid off the barstool and slumped up the stairs, wondering what he could possibly be having me do. Had my performance been that appalling earlier? I thought I'd performed the Imperius Curse fairly well…

The answer to my question was lying on my bed. A neatly bookmarked potions recipe book lay next to a box of ingredients. Curious, I let the book fall open to the bookmarked page.

It was a recipe for the Pregnancy Prevention Potion. Well, at least this confirmed Lucius was still interested, however distant he had seemed earlier that morning…

I unearthed my cauldron from beneath my crumpled robes, spellbooks, and bags of potion ingredients in my trunk before perusing the steps required to brew "the Potion," as it was frequently referred to. It would take nine days to complete.

_Nine days!_

Well, better get brewing. I organized my ingredients across the small table and chairs located under the window and set to work chopping, slicing, straining. It appeared to be an incredibly fickle potion, but at least I knew I was competent in this area. And Lucius apparently trusted me with this as well.

I was pulverizing another batch of flax seeds what must have been at least an hour or two later when my door creaked open.

Figuring it was one of my companions, I didn't bother looking up from my cauldron as I called, "It's politer to knock!"

I finished giving the Potion its ninth counter-clockwise stir, changed directions against the swirling current of bluish liquid for a single clockwise stroke, and then set down my wand to let the brew simmer. Pushing a sweaty frame of frizz from my face with the back of my wrist, I turned around to see Lucius standing near the door to my room, looking satisfied.

"How is your assignment coming along?" he smirked.

I sauntered toward him, feeling emboldened by the knowledge that he wouldn't have asked me to brew this particular potion if he didn't intend to continue our affair. I peeked over his shoulder to make sure the door was closed.

"You'll be able to fuck me in nine days time," I said, returning his smirk.

For once, he didn't criticize me for my language.

"I look forward to it."

God, he was so close. I couldn't resist; I went in for the kiss, but Lucius made for the door.

"When you have completed the next set of steps of the Potion, you may join Severus and me downstairs for dinner."

He strode from the room, leaving me confused, sweaty, and aching with desire.

* * *

Eventually, I met my companions for dinner. I was cranky, my fingers were cramped from endless chopping and stirring, and my eyeliner had turned liquid and runny in the Potion's fumes, but I was too hungry to worry about any of these things.

Lucius greeted me with, "No one was stopping you from getting cleaned up before dinner."

Severus was looking at me as if he was mildly disgusted, which I thought was a little rich seeing as hygiene had never exactly been his forte.

I wiped at the eyeliner under my eyes and flattened my frizz. "Better? You set me quite a tricky task. I've worked up an appetite."

They both shrugged, and we proceeded to order food. The worst part was that after all my slaving away that afternoon, the Potion still wouldn't be ready for over a week. At least the future steps mostly included occasional stirring or heating. However, Lucius had bought me a broom, for Merlin's sake; why couldn't he have bought me a fully brewed Pregnancy Prevention Potion if it had been that important to him?

Though exhausted after dinner, I waited up late into the night, hoping Lucius would once again be stopping by. Every time I began to nod off, I'd twitch awake at the slightest noise, with the result that I didn't truly fall asleep until it was nearly dawn.

And I was completely alone.


	8. Chapter 8: The Imperius Curse

**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone for reading! I apologize if updates are a little slower for the time being; I am working on some original fiction which I am trying to publish this summer so that's been a bit of a priority lately. However, I am too addicted to the Potter universe to walk away from this story for too long, so don't fear - I am still planning on updating at least monthly if not more often!

ALSO, I apologize once again for changing back to my original penname...I faced some opposition to changing my name to "borginbitch". And titaniaorion has been my penname/alter ego/Harry Potter persona for over a decade now so it felt weird having a different name. Promise this is the last time. Anyway...

**Disclaimer: As always, I do not own Harry Potter, just my OCs, including Titania Orion.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: The Imperius Curse**

The next day we continued with the Imperius Curse, warming up with the bird again before proceeding to using a dog so that we could test the curse on larger beings.

"It's not really that much more difficult," I said, intentionally running the dog headlong into the wall. I'd never exactly had a soft spot for animals.

"Indeed, the curse has less to do with physical size and more to do with brainpower and magical ability," Lucius confirmed. "Since dogs are more intelligent, however, they present a slight challenge as compared to the bird. You'll notice a significant difference when presented with a human or magical mind."

"And when will that be?" Severus asked eagerly.

"Later today," Lucius said. "I have been thus far impressed with your quick mastery of the curse, and I believe you two are ready for more difficult victims."

I silenced the dog as it began to whimper over Luicus's words. Lucius, satisfied with the morning's work, simply vanished the dog altogether.

"We shall break for lunch and then resume our training immediately after if there are no objections."

Lucius looked from me to Severus as if expecting one of us to oppose him; Severus shot me a look that said clearly if I tried to interfere with our training, I'd have him to answer to.

"That sounds perfect," I said; I was ready to know what it truly was like to control someone — not just a simple animal.

I could tell Severus was bursting with anticipation, because he'd become even quieter than usual. I could practically see him practicing in his mind's eye.

"Our next task will not only be a test of skill, but one of stealth," Lucius said as we ate. "There is a Muggle town not far from here that is bordered by a forest; we will be able to hide in the woods to seek our targets of Muggles who are wandering about. If we were to go at night, there would be fewer Muggles on whom to practice, and breaking into a Muggle residence would only draw unnecessary attention if things did not go smoothly."

Lucius and Severus both looked to me.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. I'm clumsy."

"Well, you'd best manage to stay on your feet and stay quiet this afternoon or we could all be in a lot of trouble," Lucius said briskly. "Now, are you both ready?"

Severus and I both nodded.

"Good. Come with me."

Apparating was always weird enough alone, but felt even more bizarre with other people — especially multiple people. For a few moments, we were all pressed together strangely in the darkness, and I found my mind wandering to illicit places at the thought. _Focus, Titania!_

We arrived in a small forest just as Lucius had described, and we crept quietly forward until a row of modest houses were visible. I made a special effort not to trip over anything. Lucius halted us to give further instruction.

"Here, I'm going to cast Disillusionment Charms on us just in case," he said, rapping each of us on the head in turn so that our bodies blended in with our surroundings. "Severus, you will go first. Use the curse on the first Muggle you see; you will have to vary your tactics depending on how many others are in the area. With your potential real future victims, subtlety will be key."

We came within a few feet of the clearing, where a lone Muggle male could be seen tending his garden.

"_Imperio_," Severus whispered.

The Muggle stood abruptly, a dazed look on his face. While Severus had total control, it was clearly not effortless. Severus's face was contorted with concentration. I followed his intense gaze to the Muggle, who had begun to entertain us with apelike antics very suitable for its primitive race. Lucius allowed us a good (albeit quiet) laugh, before asking Severus to release the spell.

"Your turn, Titania," Lucius said with the hint of a smile on his face.

I took my place in front of him — he was as close as he could possibly be without touching me — and I could feel his gentle breath on my neck as he peered over my shoulder. It was impossible to concentrate…

* * *

I had never seen Lucius laugh so hard. Quite honestly, I didn't often see him laugh. Severus was snickering as well, and I merely pouted, half-amused, half-embarrassed. Of course, as luck would have it, their laughter was at my expense.

Apparently, my Imperius Curse had gone horribly wrong — so wrong that we'd had to leave — but I had no recollection of this. As far as I knew, I'd simply not had the courage to cast the spell. Lucius and Severus informed me, however, that my spell had backfired. I'd managed to Imperius _myself_. I hadn't even known that was possible!

All of the demeaning actions I'd intended to make the Muggle perform, I'd done myself, and none of it to my knowledge. I'd slapped myself across the face, arguing with my hands as if they were another person and stumbled around like I was drunk. It wasn't until my so-called "friends" regarded my actions as a potential safety hazard and feared we would be exposed that they'd somehow lifted the curse. I recalled none of this.

At this point, we had returned to Knockturn Alley, and Lucius was leading us to the bar for a drink after the day's disastrous events.

"Shut up you two!" I said finally, as they had been randomly snickering throughout the evening.

"Oh, Titania, what are we going to do with you?" Lucius asked.

For once, at least, his tone was not condescending as he asked this, simply amused.

"I was distracted! It could happen to anyone!" I exclaimed, trying not to blush.

"Don't be distracted, then," Severus said, his tone lacking amusement.

I glared at him and then at Lucius, hoping he understood I was blaming him.

"You better hope I don't master the Cruciatus Curse anytime soon," I threatened.

"Feeling a little sadistic, are we?" Lucius replied slyly before ordering a round of firewhiskey.

"Meaning?" I spat, unsure if he'd meant it as an innuendo. If so, it was the opposite that was true: I was clearly some sort of emotional masochist for having gotten involved with him.

Lucius quirked an eyebrow but said nothing. My eyes flashed instead to Severus, who looked smug.

"Oh, stop gloating!" I snapped. "You can do everything else better than I can; did you really expect anything different?"

I crossed my arms across my chest moodily; I hated when I was outperformed. Severus looked surprised and his features softened. He put his hand gently on my shoulder.

"You'll improve, I'm sure," he said, unable to suppress a smirk.

The firewhiskeys arrived quickly and Lucius slid a handful of sickles into the bartender's hand.

"Severus is right," Lucius said. "You have all summer, and I know you learn quickly enough…"

"I've had a good teacher," I told him, unable to resist.

Severus blinked and stared straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with either of us. Did he know something was going on? And what _was_ going on, anyway? Lucius was so hot and cold. One minute he was pretending we barely knew each other, the next, dropping not-so-subtle hints about our encounters.

When we all returned to our bedrooms for the night, I was almost certain Lucius would seek me out after his behavior throughout the day. After an hour had passed and he had still not appeared, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I tiptoed across the hall and attempted to quietly open his bedroom door. It was locked.

"_Alohomora_," I whispered, pushing open the door as the lock clicked.

Lucius sat abruptly upright.

"Who's there?" he hissed in the darkness, snatching his wand from the bedside table.

"It's me," I said, trying to sound as seductive as I could while still keeping my voice down.

"Titania? What do you want?" he asked, and I was horrified to find he sounded impatient rather than pleased; had I woken him?

"_You_," I answered honestly.

He strode over to me and, despite his obvious irritation, my lips parted expectantly for a kiss.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, and all my hopes of a rendezvous seemed to freeze in his icy tone.

"I just…I wanted…" I stuttered.

"Go back to bed, Titania."

"But —"

"You have no business breaking into my room at night. Besides, you need your wits about you for training. It's clear you're already having trouble focusing," he said.

"But I wanted —"

"Go."

There was no room for discussion. Without so much as a peck on the cheek, Lucius returned to bed, and I left feeling utterly humiliated.

* * *

The next morning, Lucius explained we would be returning to the same town to continue our practice on the Muggles.

"If Titania can manage to remedy her abysmal performance, we will be able to move onto the next phase of working with the Imperius Curse," he explained quietly over breakfast. "It is one thing to be able to completely control your victim while you are in range and in their mind; it is another feat entirely to cast a curse that will allow the victim to do your bidding from afar, without needing you to dictate their every move. This takes a certain finesse, because if the curse has not been properly cast, your victims will begin to arouse suspicion — especially if the curse begins to wear off. Depending upon how this morning goes, I will have the two of you cast these lasting curses on the Muggles, and we will observe them later to see if they have done your bidding properly."

None too pleased with how last night's interaction with Lucius had gone, nor his snide remarks about my poor performance yesterday, I was determined to prove myself. Thankfully, at least, the morning session went smoothly. My curse did not backfire, and though I struggled to maintain control, I was successful nonetheless. It was the afternoon about which I was worried. How could I cast a spell strong enough to work when I left if it was this difficult to control the Muggles while I was in their presence?

Lucius had assigned each of us an ongoing task to require of the Muggles — and it was clear he cared nothing for their well-being. I was supposed to cause my Muggle, a female, to have an affair with one of the neighbors. Severus's was to develop a case of kleptomania. We were to return later in the week to see how our curses had fared.

Lucius left me and Severus on our own for the night, and the two of us got dinner to eat up in our rooms, which were each outfitted with a little table and chairs. As Severus's room was neater than mine (though we'd been there only a few days, my floor was already littered with robes and potion ingredients) we ate there.

"So, what do you think?" I asked. "Is this what you expected?"

"I suppose. No more, no less."

"Have you done any of this stuff before?"

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"No. This is all new."

"Oh. Well, you're quite good. I suppose you're good at most Dark Arts stuff. I just figured you'd practiced it all before."

I was slightly disheartened; I had hoped that his expertise had come from prior practice.

"I haven't practiced the Unforgiveables specifically, but my background with other work has certainly helped."

"You're pretty talented," I said.

"As are you, Titania."

"Psh, nothing compared to you."

"You could be, if only you'd focus. You're all over the place," he said. "It's almost dizzying sometimes."

Severus was often reticent, but he had a knack for speaking with disquieting honesty when he did talk.

"You sound like Lucius," I grumbled.

"Well, maybe you should listen to us," he said simply, taking a bite of his fish and chips.

"Well, maybe it's not that easy. How can I focus when —" but I stopped. There was nothing I could say about how I was feeling about Lucius. "When this is all so new to me," I amended quickly.

"It is the same for me."

I wanted to tell him that I doubted that very much - I'd be rather upset if that were the case - but I had no way to do so without cluing him in on my rather personal relationship with Lucius.

"You're right," I said instead.

We'd both finished eating. Severus pushed back his chair.

"Well, I suppose I'd better be going. Lucius will most likely have another full day for us tomorrow."

"Yeah. Well, good night, Sev," I said, also standing.

"Good night, Titania."

And he left.

* * *

We spent the next week or so working on the Imperius Curse until we had mastered it. Lucius was still being distant with me, though he at least appeared to be satisfied with my progress. This was especially frustrating since he and Severus had evidently remained close during the past few years, which often left me feeling left out.

Eventually, we had to perform the curse on wizards and witches in order to experience what it might feel like on a magical victim who had the power to fight back. This was much more difficult than finding unsuspecting Muggles on whom to practice, especially since the Unforgiveables were cause to be sent to Azkaban. We had to keep our operation covert, but training was absolutely essential.

It appeared, then, that our best option was simply to practice on each other.

"You can't be serious," Severus said flatly when Lucius announced this one afternoon.

"I'm sorry, Severus, but this is the simplest way," Lucius replied. "You two will have to take turns on each other so I can coach."

"What about you? Why do you get to stay out of this?" I said huffily.

"Because, Titania, I am your mentor, and thus have the authority to determine how you will be trained."

Now it was Severus's turn to protest.

"I'm not sure I trust Titania…we all saw what happened with her curse backfiring a few days ago…"

"Do you really have to bring that up again? Isn't that beating a dead hippogriff at this point?" I mumbled, crossing my arms.

Lucius ignored me. "I understand your concern, Severus, but the two of you will be under my guidance; I can assure you I will keep things under control. The incident with the backfiring seemed to be a one-time occurrence, and I feel confident moving forward."

Severus nodded his agreement reluctantly.

"Shall we use my room, then?" Lucius offered.

Once inside, Lucius pointed his wand at the door, locking it and soundproofing it so that those outside could not hear anything. He did the same thing to the windows, drawing the blinds so that the room grew dark, despite that it was midafternoon. All I could think about was how Lucius had rejected me the last time I'd been in here in the dark.

"Severus, would you like to attempt the curse first?" Lucius suggested.

We got into position. I was barely able to focus on the task at hand, much less against trying to fight off the curse once it was placed upon me. Frankly, the dreamy feeling that settled upon me was a welcome reprieve. I twirled around the room like a child, finding myself thinking that maybe this wasn't too bad.

Eventually, I found myself literally stumbling back into reality.

"Titania, were you trying to fight back at all?" Severus asked me quizzically.

"Erm…"

"Titania," Lucius said, with an air of forced patience, "the whole point of this exercise is to practice using the curse against resistance. You're not some common Muggle; fight back!"

"Alright," I snapped, glaring at Lucius.

I readied myself, arming my mind for the emptiness I was about to experience. I certainly didn't like the look on Severus's face as he stood before me. The strange, light-headed feeling came upon me again, but this time I was prepared. I wasn't sure exactly what I was thinking, only that I had some grasp of what _I _wanted to do; I was conscious of my actions. I fell out of the pirouette Severus had been making me do, and the curse broke.

"Good, good," muttered Lucius. "More difficult, Severus?"

"A bit," Severus admitted.

"At first I couldn't tell if Severus had made you stumble or if that was of your own doing," Lucius said to me.

"That was all Titania," Severus said before I could reply.

I blushed. "I was fighting the curse."

"Titania, ever graceful," Lucius said sarcastically. "Let's have you give it a try."

I didn't even know what I was possibly going to attempt to make Severus do, and I could tell he was looking less than enthused about being on the receiving end of my inconsistent Imperius Curse.

I took a deep breath and yelled, "_Imperio_!"

I could already tell that Severus was preemptively trying to fight whatever it was I was going to make him do; which I still had yet to decide. I kept him staring blankly at me for several minutes before he simply shook it off.

"What was that supposed to be?" Lucius asked. "Did it not work?"

"No, I felt the curse connect," Severus said, "but then nothing else happened."

Lucius looked to me for an explanation.

"I didn't know what to do."

"You've been casting the spell on Muggles all week."

"Yeah, but I didn't want to do anything demeaning like that to Severus."

Severus smiled slightly at me.

"I suppose that's understandable, but you've got to try and make him do _something_. Run laps around the room, dance like you did, _something_," Lucius said impatiently.

"Fine. Ready?" I asked Severus as I stepped into position. "_Imperio_!"

This time I was more prepared, I took Lucius's suggestion and figured if Severus had made me dance around the room like an idiot, I could do the same to him. He must have anticipated this move, however, because suddenly, I found him very difficult to control. This was nothing like attempting to control the simple-minded Muggles. I pursed my lips in concentration but felt the connection break.

"Good attempt. See how much more difficult it is against a magical mind?"

I nodded, surprised how draining this new element was. We kept practicing like this over the next few days, and instead of getting easier, the curse was actually growing more difficult. For as each of us improved at casting the curse, we also improved at fighting it. We figured this would make controlling one of our real victims even easier in the future, since it was doubtful we would encounter many who were prepared for mentally battling the Imperius Curse, or even recognizing they were being controlled by it to begin with.

* * *

When we weren't doing hands-on practice of curses, Lucius was catching us up on what was happening on our side of the war. There were days where he would disappear in the mornings, presumably to take care of other Death Eater business unrelated to training in new recruits. Lucius had also emphasized just how important proficiency in dueling and basic combat spells like Stunning, Shield Charms, and the Impediment Jinx would be to our future careers. When Severus and I did catch a break from dueling, we often spent that time reading or brewing potions in companionable silence.

"What is it that you've been making?" Severus asked curiously, as I feverishly stirred my Pregnancy Prevention Potion on day eight; during the last 24 hours of its brewing, it needed to be stirred every four hours.

"Nothing important," I lied.

"Don't lie, you've been slaving over that cauldron for a week now."

"What? No, I haven't," I lied again.

Damn him for always being so perceptive! I was concerned that even if I didn't confess to him what type of potion I was brewing he would be able to deduce it on his own. I'd hidden the book containing the recipe at the bottom of my trunk just in case.

"It's just something that might come in handy later on," I said, hoping that would satisfy him.

He peaked into the blue-gray contents just as I finished this round of stirring.

"Lunch?" I suggested hastily.

Comprehension briefly dawned on Severus's face as he looked from me to my cauldron, but he said nothing and merely nodded his agreement. Horrified that he suspected my extracurriculars this summer, and yet oddly curious as to when — if ever — he'd encountered the Potion before, I followed him from the room.


	9. Chapter 9: The Killing Curse

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Sorry it's been all summer since I've updated. I promise this story hasn't been abandoned (hell, I've worked on some version of this for ten years - I'm not going to stop anytime soon!). Real life has just been crazy - crazier than anything I could possibly come up with in fiction, so I've just had to live it for awhile. But I'm back now :) A big welcome and thank you to my new readers and followers!

**Disclaimer:** As always, the world of Harry Potter belongs to JKR. Titania Orion and my other OCs are mine. :)

* * *

**Chapter Nine: The Killing Curse**

The nine days were up. I filled little vials with my weekly doses of Potion — enough for a three month supply — and drank the first one. That morning, I slipped Lucius a note that said nothing more than _I'm ready_. He stowed it in his pocket without reading it. I was disappointed, but I suppose there was nothing he could have said to me in front of Severus while we were ll having breakfast. Instead, he informed us that he felt we were ready to move on from the Imperius Curse and begin the Cruciatus Curse.

Lucius explained to us, "The Cruciatus Curse and the Killing Curse are much more easily performed when there is feeling behind them. You may not be able to conjure them correctly for the first time without an especial anger or hatred towards someone. We'll not bother practicing on animals before moving onto human targets — you both have the basic grasp of what it takes to perform Dark magic of this caliber, and it is best to first learn the curse on something against which feelings of hate are easy to summon: Muggles."

I ruefully thought that I could have performed a very successful Cruciatus Curse on Lucius about a few weeks ago. While the Imperius Curse had been relatively simple to practice on Muggles as they tended to forget their actions as soon as the curse was lifted, the Cruciatus Curse was not so quickly put out of one's mind. Pain of that caliber lingered — or so I'd heard. This added the extra layer of complexity of having to properly modify the Muggles' memories after performing the curse. There was so much we still didn't know.

"Tonight we will be venturing to Muggle London for our training. You will have the opportunity to practice both the Cruciatus Curse and Memory Charms tonight. I'm allowing the two of you to take the day off to mentally prepare yourselves. Training will only continue to increase in intensity from this point forward."

Severus raised his eyebrows.

"After tonight," Lucius continued, "your training will not be conducted in isolation. We will be joining with the other mentors and new recruits and testing not only your magical abilities but your willpower, your stamina, your ability to torture — and to kill. It should only be a few days time before we will conduct our first raid."

I looked down at my uneaten croissant. I was dying for Lucius to read my note and to give me some sign that he wanted me. I was also terrified for this new stage of training. Yes, I had it in me to be cruel — I'd harassed my fair share of Hufflepuffs and Mudbloods back at school — but I'd say my antics were a far cry from _torture_. I returned to my room without finishing my breakfast and anxiously waited there for the rest of the afternoon, hoping Lucius might make an appearance. He didn't until it was time to collect us for our outing to London at nightfall.

"So. Are you ready?" Lucius asked me and Severus over his shoulder just as we exited the inn. He had a gleam in his eyes that scared me — he was clearly looking forward to the damage we were about to do.

Severus and I both nodded. The sky outside was dark and cloudy, making the dirty street to which we Apparated look all the more decrepit. If Lucius had attempted to find an absolutely despicable village in order for us to summon up those feelings of hatred, he had succeeded. The paint on the buildings was peeling and all but hidden under layers of graffiti, the air was rank with pollution and hopelessess, and homeless Muggles in shabby clothing reclined in the alleyways.

"These Muggles won't be missed or arouse suspicion if we harm them beyond repair," Lucius whispered.

"What're you lot doing?" a homeless Muggle man grunted at us, hiccupping drunkenly. "You got some funny lookin' outfits there!"

We _were_ dressed rather conspicuously in our traveling cloaks to be in a Muggle inhabited area, but Lucius took no notice of the man's comments.

Instead of answering, he drew his wand and hissed, "_Crucio!_"

The Muggle instantly began twitching and writhing in pain. Lucius had a look of supreme satisfaction on his face, and he allowed the Muggle to suffer for a moment before lifting the curse.

"Titania?" he looked to me to go next.

The man was panting, his face scrunched in pain as if he were still being tortured.

"What the — what the bloody 'ell —?" he gasped, clutching at his chest.

I drew my wand and pointed it at the squirming, dirty, utterly repulsive figure before me. He was just a Muggle — a filthy, worthless, disgusting Muggle. He deserved this. They all did — right?

"_Crucio_!"

The man twitched, but did not appear to be in the same degree of pain as when Lucius had cast the spell. The Muggle disgusted me, but not enough to summon the power I needed for a proper Cruciatus Curse. I lifted the spell after a few minutes; it was draining.

"A fine start," Lucius said, as if he were simply looking over my Charms homework (well, maybe not Charms, but any other subject; my Charms work was dismal).

Severus, as per usual, had no trouble performing the spell, and the look upon his face actually frightened me; there was a certain look of disgust I hadn't ever seen there before. It distorted his already extreme features: His large nostrils were further flared in a look of angry concentration, and his thin mouth had all but disappeared as he pressed his lips together. The man on the ground twisted and howled with pain, limbs shaking and contorting as if his muscles had seized up.

A few lone figures glanced down the alleyway at the noise, but hurried away as if they'd rather not get involved. Lucius instructed Severus to attempt to clear the whimpering Muggle's memory after we had practiced the curse several more times. Lucius had tortured the Muggle once more as well, simply for the sport of it. He certainly didn't need the practice. When we were finished, the Muggle lay slumped against the wall, and I was unsure as to whether or not he was still alive.

We proceeded to another Muggle since this one had either become unconscious or died from the onslaught of spells. This would also give me a fresh chance to try my hand at a Memory Charm on a mind that wasn't already severely damaged. I didn't know how I felt about this new stage of training. Powerful, yes, but also…twisted. The feeling of subjecting a stranger to that kind of pain was indescribable. And to think, we still had to learn how to kill…

* * *

We all went our separate ways when we returned to the inn. I ordered a cup of tea from one of the disgusting house-elves who worked there and took a moment to process that evening's events. Lucius kept saying how all of this would get easier. How often would I be forced to subject strangers to pain — even if they were nothing more than common Muggles — before I grew numb? I assuaged my guilt by telling myself it would all be worth the practice if it could one day be James Potter or Sirius Black — two of my arch enemies back at Hogwarts — on the receiving end of my Cruciatus Curse. Only then would I be able to truly fuel it with the necessary hatred.

I'd barely taken my first sip of tea when my door opened. I nearly spilled said tea when I saw who it was.

"Good evening, Titania," Lucius said.

"Hey," I said.

"Excellent work earlier."

He sat down next to me on the bed, and I set down my tea as my hands began to shake.

"Oh, um, thanks. I wasn't sure I truly had a grasp of it. I didn't feel like I had enough power behind it."

"That will come with time. If I know anything about you, it's that you're fully capable of summoning those extreme emotions. Your — ah — passion will serve you well in the future."

He fixed me with a longing gaze.

"You've completed the Potion?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. And you've taken the first week's worth." Not a question. An expectation.

"Of course," I said. "I couldn't wait any longer…"

"Neither could I."

He seized me in his arms, parting my lips greedily with his tongue. The lights dimmed, he laid his wand upon the nightstand, and he pushed me down onto the bed all in one fluid motion. My heart leapt with the confirmation that he still wanted me. _Me_. _Me and Lucius Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy and I. _It still felt surreal.

My blood pounded in my veins — a heady concoction of adrenaline, anxiety, and arousal. Our last encounter had been ecstasy — the time before that, however, not so much. I wanted Lucius more than anything in this moment, but I hadn't forgotten the blood, the pain, the confusion that had resulted from losing my virginity to him. As he had promised after our original encounter though, he was gentle.

I could sense his struggle to restrain himself for my benefit, and I smirked at the thought: Lucius was so effortlessly calculated, controlled, and refined in every other aspect of his life — except here. I'd seen him lose control in the bedroom; to fuck impulsively and with abandon. In fact, I'd been one to cause that. I wondered how many others had ever incited Lucius to lose control like that — in the bedroom or outside of it. I decided I'd rather not know.

* * *

I was alone when I awoke. I had no idea what time Lucius had slipped away — or how he'd managed to extricate himself from our intertwined embrace in which we'd fallen asleep. My head was so full of emotions from the day before it literally felt heavy; it was a moment before I could even raise myself from the pillow. I was sincerely hoping for a day to recover — both mentally and physically.

Unfortunately, I wasn't in luck.

"Change of plans," Lucius said, addressing Severus and me in his usual brisk, businesslike tone as we came down for breakfast. He gave no sign that anything has transpired between us only hours previously. "Your first raid will occur tonight."

I burned my tongue on my hot coffee.

"_Already_?" I squeaked.

"You've both proven yourself capable," Lucius said simply. "Don't give me a reason to doubt your abilities."

"But we only just learned the Cruciatus Curse!"

"And I assure you tonight will provide you with ample opportunities for further practice. We'll be joining with your peer, Avery, and his mentors, Crabbe and Goyle, along with a few others I expect you may know."

"Is that all the information we're going to get?" I asked.

"Calm, Titania. There is no sense in briefing you twice; I will do so when the others arrive as we will all be meeting here for dinner beforehand."

I simply stared at Lucius. So we were just going to all chat over dinner and drinks together like tonight was any old night? Were we just not supposed to think about the fact that it would be a precursor to performing some of the most dangerous and evil magic known to wizardkind — all without prior experience?

Never had an afternoon disappeared so fast, despite that I felt I hadn't done anything with my time. It seemed backwards to me that we'd spent so much time on the Imperius Curse — which in my mind I'd somehow ranked as easiest of the three Unforgiveables — and yet we were just supposed to be able to perform the Killing Curse in the heat of the moment without any prior instruction? Was it just that simple to take someone's life? I'd even forgotten to eat lunch, and was woozy and jittery with hunger and nerves by the time Avery and company arrived at the inn.

"What's up, Titania? Snape?" he said, sauntering confidently up to the bar where Severus and I were seated; he didn't seem at all perturbed by the thought of the upcoming raid.

"Hey Avery," I said, and I nodded my acknowledgement of Crabbe and Goyle behind him.

"This is what I've been waiting for all summer," Avery said in an excited whisper, sweeping his dark shaggy hair out his eyes. "You don't look so thrilled."

"I'm nervous," I admitted, and ordered a firewhiskey for some liquid courage. I looked to Lucius, who had fallen into conversation with Crabbe and Goyle, to see if he approved.

"I'm sure you'll feel the adrenaline when you get on site," Severus said to me. "I don't think you need that," he added as the bartender shoved my firewhiskey towards me.

I accepted my drink, and tossed Severus an exasperated look to meet his patronizing one.

"I think Titania's got the right idea," Avery said casually. "This should be fun."

He ordered a beer for himself and for Severus, despite Severus's protest.

"Let's not have too much before we go, now," Lucius said with a forced patience. "You are here as part of training — and that is a privilege. Certainly as you become more experienced I shall let you have your fun."

Avery burped nonchalantly in response, and Lucius flared his narrow nostrils delicately. "Let's find a table now, shall we? It is my responsibility to brief everyone before tonight's outing."

Tonight's outing. Like it was just going to be a stroll in the fucking park or something. We all gathered at a corner table — Avery with a fresh beer in hand after having downed the first. I ordered food despite knowing it would likely remain untouched; I considered another drink myself but feared Lucius's judgment, and the effect it would have on me with my empty stomach.

"As you all know, we'll be proceeding to a poor Muggle town for your first raid. We have selected this location as it is of little importance to anyone — either our Ministry or the Muggles'. Anything you see is up for destruction. Houses. Plants. Animals. And, of course, the Muggles themselves." Lucius smiled nastily. "That is why we have arranged this little expedition after all, so that you might have a chance to fully practice the Unforgiveable Curses. I expect that all of you will have successfully performed the Killing Curse by the end of the night."

Avery's face lit up hungrily, and he tucked into his mashed potatoes.

"Should anyone — namely members of our Department of Magical Law Enforcement — show up and attempt to shut down our operation, flee. Do not duel, do not speak, do not do anything but Disapparate immediately. Leave the cleanup for them."

Lucius looked sharply at Avery at this command. I didn't need to be told twice — hell if I was going to stick around and fight the Ministry! Once everyone had finished their meals (Avery quickly and sloppily, me not at all), we departed outside the inn via (presumably unauthorized) portkey.

We were met with silence when we arrived on the scene. The night air was chill, but I was sure that the shudder that traveled up my back and ended with an awkward twitch of my head had nothing to do with the temperature.

"Come with me," Lucius said, indicating Severus and me.

The three of us made our way up to the nearest house; Avery, Crabbe, and Goyle wandered further up the street — Avery eagerly leading the way.

"So it begins," Lucius said, turning to us with a sneer as we came to a stop in front of a quiet front door.

"_Expulso_!" he shouted, blasting the door inward in a shower of glass and wooden splinters; I instinctively reached up to cover my masked face — Lucius had provided us with new hooded robes and masks early that day. Uniforms for our first real day on the job.

A panicked voice floated down from the upper level of the home. I couldn't make out the words, but it wasn't hard to imagine the scene. A light flicked on. Footsteps on the landing. All in a matter of seconds.

"Come," Lucius said, beckoning us inside. "Titania, you're first."

A Muggle female, frumpy, middle-aged, and pulling on a shabby lilac robe appeared in front of us, her baffled, terrified expression half hidden behind a wispy mess of ashy hair. She shrieked at the sight of us — three silent, hooded figures before her.

"Please! Don't hurt me!" she screamed, stumbling backwards into the wall at the top of the stairs; she had nowhere to run. A baby began to wail from the next room as she continued to scream. The woman looked desperately between us and the sound of the child's cries. "_Have mercy!"_

Lucius gave me a nudge.

"_Cr-Crucio_!" I cried shakily.

My god, the screaming. The woman's shrieks reached a pitch that instinctively forced me to cover my ears, thus lifting the Curse in my sudden movement.

Sobbing. Panting. Wailing from the next room.

"Again!" Lucius snapped.

"_Crucio!_"

I wondered where the father was. Was this shabby woman a widow? Divorced? Waiting patiently for her husband to come home from the night shift? Would he come home to find his wife and child dead? And the real question here should have been: _Why do I care?_ They were just lowly Muggles after all!

More noise — explosions, screaming from the outside. My ears and mind were full; I was so overly stimulated I felt nothing at all — heard nothing, saw nothing.

"Very good," Lucius whispered approvingly, his soft voice the first thing I truly heard in minutes — or had it been seconds? He stared down at the shaking, snivelling woman before us with what I could only imagine through his mask was a contemptuous look of disgust. "We won't kill just yet. Severus, you've got the next one."

We made our way back into the street, which was already starting to look like mayhem . Muggles had wandered confusedly out of their homes to discover the source of the confusion. Crabbe and Goyle were blasting apart trees, guffawing stupidly with every wave of their wands. Avery cackled as he tumbled a small Muggle child through the street with the Imperius Curse.

"Take your pick," Lucius said to Severus.

Severus immediately drew his wand on an adult male Muggle who had been trying to slink from the fray.

"_Crucio!_"

Lucius hardly paused to watch; he was far more confident in Severus's abilities than in mine. He then sent an unsuspecting Muggle bouncing across the lawn. It stopped bouncing right at my feet. The figure was crumpled, but still alive. Lucius wrapped his hand around my upper arm and pulled me to him.

"Do it," he hissed, an almost seductive purr to his smooth voice.

"What?" I asked, my heart pumping blood loudly into my ears, drowning out the din around me once again; I could hear nothing but the soft noises: the Muggle whimpering at my feet, Lucius's avid breathing in my ear.

"_Kill it_."

I raised my wand, pointing it at the crumpled figure.

"Help," it murmured.

My hands shook; I was trembling like the Muggle woman I had tortured earlier.

"A-ava— " My voice quivered along with the rest of my body.

"_Do it_!" Lucius commanded.

"_Avad…Ava –" _I tried again.

Lucius changed tactics. "Severus," he yelled over his shoulder.

Severus left the defeated Muggle on the ground in front of him and sprinted in our direction. Lucius indicated the Muggle shuddering pathetically in front of me.

"Now!"

Severus only hesitated for a moment before screaming, "_Avada Kedavra_!"

The Muggle went limp at our feet. I suddenly found myself gasping for breath, the noise of chaos and destruction hitting my ears like a sudden explosion. I had never seen anyone die before, ever.

"Next one, Titania," Lucius snapped, bored and impatient.

There were several Muggles in the square now, all screaming. Some were writhing in pain, others performing weird antics under the Imperius Curse; everything was burning, crumbling. Crabbe was giggling stupidly as he tortured a male Muggle twenty or so feet from us.

"This way." Lucius waved his hand for us to follow him. "We'll take this one off your hands, Crabbe."

Crabbe lifted the curse and moved on to his next target with a shrug.

"It's already weakened, Titania. This should be simple," said Lucius.

I turned to him. "I can't, I need more time to prepare…"

"You won't always have time to deliberate like this; do it _now_!"

I screwed up my face in concentration, fighting back tears. Before I had another moment to think about what I was doing, I yelled, "_Avada Kedavra_!"

Dead.

I had just killed someone. The spell had risen to my lips like bile, and I was certain that that substance would come next. My wand slipped from my hand and I dropped to my knees, heaving, saliva tingling at the corners of my jaw. I was surely going to vomit.

"Get up!" Lucius ordered, grabbing me under my shoulders and hoisting me to my feet; Severus snatched up my wand and thrust it into my limp hand.

Just then, others Apparated on the scene, though they were not wearing the signature Death Eater hoods and masks: Ministry members.

"Evacuate!" Lucius yelled to our group at large, grasping my hand and turning on the spot as I struggled to stay upright next to him.

The scene blurred and swam before my eyes — but whether that was from Apparating or my sudden delirium or both I couldn't tell.

As soon as we were back outside the inn, I collapsed.


End file.
